When Keeping it Sexy Goes Wrong

I was reading a couple of fellow bloggers post about their most recent adventures in falling and fire which made me think about a time many moons ago (count 10 years) when I was staying with my big sis.

I (relunctantly) moved in with her when I was in college in Little Rock. (I actually started and graduated from UCA....this is a whole 'nother story in itself). The good thing about this though is that my sis was rarely at home. She had recently been promoted @ her job and it required lots and lots of travel, so I basically had the house all to myself. YAY! I would walk around the house naked, turn the music up loud (not loud enough to disturb the neighbors but just loud enough for me to enjoy), just really enjoying being young with benefits ya know. So anway, one time I had just gotten out of the shower and had not toweled off yet when I heard the phone ring. I ran from the bathroom through the den to the phone in the kitchen (yes back in the day, phone calls were just that important for me to answer). As soon as I picked up the receiver my ass slipped and fell on the floor! lol You know how you see in movies when people fall but the fly waaaaaaaaaaaaaay up in the air then crash.......yeah it was like that (in my mind anyway). I probably laid on the ground for all of about 30 seconds before I realized the phone was in my hand. The person I was talking to was trying hard to show concern but I knew all they really wanted to do was laugh. I let them know I was okay and then they cracked up laughing, I did too. I still do to this day. :-)

Now while at the house I would often ummm entertain. Not wild house parties or anything, just a few folks that I trusted and was really cool with. Now me being a semi-broke college student (thinking back I don't see how this was possible seeing as I paid I think about $50/month in rent and the rest was mine to do with as I pleased) entertaining didn't consist of much outside of renting a couple of movies, getting a bucket of chicken from Church's (which I can't stand to even eat now), and bit of cheap liquer from the spirit's store. This one particular evening, I decided to be romantic and invite my boyfriend over. In preparation, I went out and purchased new "smell good" stuff, my good old stand-by Pear Glace', from Vickie's Secretions and a new naughty evening wear. I also decided set the mood by lighting the fireplace. It was chilly out and I figured it was as good a time as any to light it up. Now I had never lit the fireplace before and had never asked my sister how to do it but I figured it couldn't be too hard....right? right?! Just load the logs add a flame and voila you have fire......WRONG!! Soon after, I noticed that there was some kind of lever thing that controlled ventilation so I flipped it the way I thought it should go to let the smoke out and went to shower and get ready. By the time I was done, I started to smell smoke..........oh vey! I opened the door and smoke was just everywhere! OMG!!! I freaked out!! I flipped on all the lights and the only thing running through my mind was that I had to put the fire out so I ran and got all the baking soda I could find (even the spares) and chunked it in. It put the fire out but there was soooo much smoke in the house that I couldn't breathe so I opened up all the doors and windows and turned on all the ceiling fans. Now keep in mind it was chillier by then so I'm freezing with my robe on. I then picked up the phone to call my friend. Thank goodness she was at home! As a show of moral support, she talked about and laughed at me so hard! :-) She offered to come out to help but I told her to just stay put because seriously what could she have done.....help blow out smoke with her mouth?? lol I finished up talking with her and called my bf and told him to not worry about coming out. I was sooooo bummed! I ruined my entire evening.....I guess that's what I got for trying to be fast. ha ha

My sister returned the next day and was home before I got there. I had tried to do as much damage control as I could prior to her return but failed to notice the soot stains on the cream wood accents accents around the fireplace. She was waiting for me (and no doubt had called my mom to talking major trash) when I got home from work with a towel, bucket of soapy water, paintbrush, and paint for me to get to work on my new found second job. She simply told me to go put my stuff down in my room, change my clothes, and come clean up this mess. I was tired and had an attitude....yeah I know I was lucky that she didn't bitch slap me. Anyway so I'm cleaning and painting while getting a severe tongue lashing the entire time....*sigh* Needless to say, I didn't bother messing with the fireplace again.