The kids are next....mark my words.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sooo, sooooo, soooooo funkdafied
I am currently sitting in a meeting typing this post on my pda. What? I'm multi-tasking! Anyway, I was so compelled to type this because of an issue I have with one of my co-workers. To put it bluntly, his funky ass stanks!!!! And it's not just any old funk either, it's like old wet rag funk.....sour as hell funk........muskrat love funk........just FUNKY!!!
We have a weekly meeting with he and his team for a project in progress and every week it's the same thing........that stench. I purposely sit at the far end of the conference table away him and everyone else so I can have as much distance as I can. The first week my boss invited me to sit closer, I declined. I told her I enjoy the view from the window on this end of the table....which isn't a total fib.
It's funny, the first time I met him I smelled that smell but just assumed (or hoped) it was something in the room. More recently he came by to introduce me to one of his, well I guess our, colleagues overseas. He shook my hand, as did she, and from that time until the next time I went to the restroom that stinch lingered......ON MY HANDS!!!!!!!! It took me about 15 minutes or so to figure out why and almost fell the phuck out when I realized he tried to pass that mess over to me. FAIL!!!!!! I ran to the restroom and let soap and water cleanse my skin for 10 minutes before I was satisfied that I could not smell it anymore.
BLECH....I just caught another whiff.
Needless to say being trappedin a conference room with him each week for an hour and a half is not my preference, it is however required. :-(
Ya know, it must really suck to be that person that people refer to as 'the one with the odor problem'. I've tossed around the idea of taking some soap and deordorant up to his desk (while he's not around of course) with a note that says, 'please use me'. Okay, that's mean but damn.......it's the truth.
We have a weekly meeting with he and his team for a project in progress and every week it's the same thing........that stench. I purposely sit at the far end of the conference table away him and everyone else so I can have as much distance as I can. The first week my boss invited me to sit closer, I declined. I told her I enjoy the view from the window on this end of the table....which isn't a total fib.
It's funny, the first time I met him I smelled that smell but just assumed (or hoped) it was something in the room. More recently he came by to introduce me to one of his, well I guess our, colleagues overseas. He shook my hand, as did she, and from that time until the next time I went to the restroom that stinch lingered......ON MY HANDS!!!!!!!! It took me about 15 minutes or so to figure out why and almost fell the phuck out when I realized he tried to pass that mess over to me. FAIL!!!!!! I ran to the restroom and let soap and water cleanse my skin for 10 minutes before I was satisfied that I could not smell it anymore.
BLECH....I just caught another whiff.
Needless to say being trappedin a conference room with him each week for an hour and a half is not my preference, it is however required. :-(
Ya know, it must really suck to be that person that people refer to as 'the one with the odor problem'. I've tossed around the idea of taking some soap and deordorant up to his desk (while he's not around of course) with a note that says, 'please use me'. Okay, that's mean but damn.......it's the truth.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
My snuggie......
(sung to the tune of 'my dougie)
my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie
she say she like
my snuggie, I'm fresh
YEP!!fly then a mu*fucka
That's right folks, the snuggie is back and it's badder and more colorful than ever! This is not your mama's snuggie either! You can now get a DESIGNER (their word not mine) one in leopard (hurls), zebra (bigger hurl), or the always stylish camel (lol).
GET YOU ONE!
my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie
she say she like
my snuggie, I'm fresh
YEP!!fly then a mu*fucka
That's right folks, the snuggie is back and it's badder and more colorful than ever! This is not your mama's snuggie either! You can now get a DESIGNER (their word not mine) one in leopard (hurls), zebra (bigger hurl), or the always stylish camel (lol).
GET YOU ONE!
Friday, July 17, 2009
BAM!
Picture it........ July 17, 2009.........lunch hour..........Wendy's drive through windowI should have known something was a bit off about her after placing my order. I heard her make a strange noise after telling me my total but just blew it off since I really wasn't paying much attention. I pulled up to the window to pay for my food and handed her a twenty. She takes it and I hear it again. Hmmmmm, sounds like she's saying ma'am I say to myself. As she hands me my change, I hear it again. I stop fiddling with my phone long enough to absorb what just came out of her mouth. Did this broad just say what I think she said???? Is she really saying BAM after each action???
She hands me my food and sure enough.....BAM!!
I check my order to make sure everything is there and ask for some dipping sauce (I guess she was so busy bam'n everyone she forgot to ask if I needed any).
She hands me the sauce and yep you guessed it.........BAM!!
The shit was so surreal I almost felt like I was in a freakin Billy Mays commercial.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I don't think this is what Michael had in mind...........
Ya'll I swear I don't go looking for this stuff....it just finds me.
I had never even heard of this lovely gem of a show, Operation Repo, until a friend shared it with me. It's a reality show about, you guessed it, people's vehicles being repossessed. I'm in love with it already (now I just need to see if we get this network at home). As I'm on the website looking at show clips I discover one (most appropriately) titled 'Just Beat It'. So I'm watching and suddenly become amused when the car owner appears.
Sidenote: I didn't even know Delorian's (sp???) were real freakin cars. I SO thought it was fictional like KITT in Knight Rider.
Anyway, so I really start taking notice of fake MJ at around the 1:37 minute mark. Then I REALLY take notice when I see his pants suddenly transfrom from a somewhat normal length to highwaters. And then he does it.............*weeps*
Pay close attention to 1:55 and watch what happens. If you're anything like me, you WILL make some type of loud outburst.
UPDATE: For those of you that are youtube challenged at the plantation, try this link Look for 'Just Beat It' to the right of the screen (it should be the 2nd video)
I had never even heard of this lovely gem of a show, Operation Repo, until a friend shared it with me. It's a reality show about, you guessed it, people's vehicles being repossessed. I'm in love with it already (now I just need to see if we get this network at home). As I'm on the website looking at show clips I discover one (most appropriately) titled 'Just Beat It'. So I'm watching and suddenly become amused when the car owner appears.
Sidenote: I didn't even know Delorian's (sp???) were real freakin cars. I SO thought it was fictional like KITT in Knight Rider.
Anyway, so I really start taking notice of fake MJ at around the 1:37 minute mark. Then I REALLY take notice when I see his pants suddenly transfrom from a somewhat normal length to highwaters. And then he does it.............*weeps*
Pay close attention to 1:55 and watch what happens. If you're anything like me, you WILL make some type of loud outburst.
UPDATE: For those of you that are youtube challenged at the plantation, try this link Look for 'Just Beat It' to the right of the screen (it should be the 2nd video)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
AR Gal PSA: 21st Century Rush Hour
I don't hate rush hour traffic simply because it is "rush hour traffic",
I am annoyed at the number and type of people who now drive in it
Who have no experience driving in it therefore don't know how.
People who drive timidly,
Who do not know that the left hand lane is for passing & fast cars,
Who defy the flow of traffic,
Who get the in way of those of us eager to get the hell home.
Those of us who did not spend a pleasant day at work or frolicking from store to store shopping all day.
I understand rush hour traffic can be scary.
There are a lot of cars on the road
And they are driving with purpose,
And many times, they are driving fast (sometimes way too fast).
I understand that it can be intimidating and interesting all at the same time but please realize that stopping a lane of traffic because you are switching lanes, are looking for a full car length opening, want to see the extent of the wreck damage, watch the state trooper hand someone a ticket, watch the driver of the 18 wheeler inspect his blowout, etc, etc, etc
Is pissing people off - not endearing yourself to the other drivers.
Find an opening and go (this is good advice for a lot of situations in life as well)
Don't wait for a hand delivered, engraved invitation.
You won't get one (but you may get a middle finger. I'm just sayin'.....)
Or better yet, time your travel during non-rush hour traffic.
Around these parts, that's roughly before 3pm and after 6pm.
I really think you will enjoy that drive more during those times.
And I will will enjoy it if you drive during those times too.
I am annoyed at the number and type of people who now drive in it
Who have no experience driving in it therefore don't know how.
People who drive timidly,
Who do not know that the left hand lane is for passing & fast cars,
Who defy the flow of traffic,
Who get the in way of those of us eager to get the hell home.
Those of us who did not spend a pleasant day at work or frolicking from store to store shopping all day.
I understand rush hour traffic can be scary.
There are a lot of cars on the road
And they are driving with purpose,
And many times, they are driving fast (sometimes way too fast).
I understand that it can be intimidating and interesting all at the same time but please realize that stopping a lane of traffic because you are switching lanes, are looking for a full car length opening, want to see the extent of the wreck damage, watch the state trooper hand someone a ticket, watch the driver of the 18 wheeler inspect his blowout, etc, etc, etc
Is pissing people off - not endearing yourself to the other drivers.
Find an opening and go (this is good advice for a lot of situations in life as well)
Don't wait for a hand delivered, engraved invitation.
You won't get one (but you may get a middle finger. I'm just sayin'.....)
Or better yet, time your travel during non-rush hour traffic.
Around these parts, that's roughly before 3pm and after 6pm.
I really think you will enjoy that drive more during those times.
And I will will enjoy it if you drive during those times too.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
YouTube Foolishness: Entrepreneurial Spirit Edition
Not to be confused with Jones Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage, lol.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
I am that chick...................
................. that will laugh at you if you just so happen to walk past me and pass gas. Especially if you work with me. It's okay, don't be ashamed.....just laugh with me (and fan your hand).
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Monday, July 06, 2009
Friday, July 03, 2009
I have the worst urge........
.............to go fishing. This is really strange considering I have not touched a fishing pole since I was a teenager and went with my (former) step-dad back in the early '90s. I really have no idea where this feeling is coming from considering I'm not an outdoors person (other than walking the dogs). Maybe I was a fisherman in my previous life.
I think I may go get some sparklers instead.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
YouTube Foolishness: News Anchor Edition
I'll just let this vid do what it do because it really speaks for itself.
There have been so many times..............
................. that I've wanted to do this to people (especially at work).
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
300th post
It's my 300th post!! YAY! I wanna thank my mama...................
In celebration of this momentous occasion, I've done a meme. Really original I know but hey they say it's the little things right? I grabbed this doozie from some blog I was reading this morning. I have no idea of it's purpose or theme but it had just the right amount of randomness to pull me in. Feel free to take it, use it, and abuse it. Consider this a gift from me to you.
1.) When you walk in your front door, which room do you enter?
It’s not really a room, it’s just space but you do see the den.
2.)Do you have a dishwasher?
Yep and I’ve learned to appreciate it a lot over the past few months.
3.) Is your living room carpeted or does it have hardwood floors?
Carpeted
4.) Do you keep your kitchen knives on the counter or in a drawer?
On the counter and in a drawer
5.) House, apartment, duplex or trailer?
House
6.) How many bedrooms is it?
Three
7.) Gas stove or electric?
It’s electric!
8.) Do you have a yard?
Yep
9.) What size TV is in the living room?
I don’t know but it’s too damn big.
10.) Are your plates in the same cupboard as your cups?
No, they don't get along so we had to separate them.
11.) Is there a coffee maker sitting on your kitchen counter?
We are a coffee free home.
13.) What room is your computer in?
It can be in every room since it’s a laptop. We do have a desktop in the office that I should sell for parts though. Any takers? Email me at yourluckychance@yahoo.com.
14.) Are there pictures hanging in your living room?
Nerp
15.) Are there any themes found in your home?
Nope
16.) What kind of laundry detergent do you use?
Surf
17.) Do you use dryer sheets?
yep.
18.) Do you have any curtains in your home?
yep
19.) What color is your fridge?
Boring white
20.) Is your house clean?
Yep
21.) What room is the most neglected?
The back rooms. We just kind do enough to keep them decent until company comes.
22.) Are the dishes in your sink/dishwasher clean or dirty?
Clean
23.) How long have you lived in your home?
Ummmmm, about four years
24.) Where did you live before?
same town, different place
25.) Do you have one of those fluffy toilet lid covers on your toilet?
Just on one. Lol
26.) Do you have a scale anywhere in your house?
Hell no. They are banned.
27.) How many mirrors are in your house?
This requires some thought………….four.
28.) Look up. What do you see?
How far up? This question is stupid.
29.) Do you have a garage?
Yep
And now ….. a little youtube foolishness. I don’t know why but this tickled me.
In celebration of this momentous occasion, I've done a meme. Really original I know but hey they say it's the little things right? I grabbed this doozie from some blog I was reading this morning. I have no idea of it's purpose or theme but it had just the right amount of randomness to pull me in. Feel free to take it, use it, and abuse it. Consider this a gift from me to you.
1.) When you walk in your front door, which room do you enter?
It’s not really a room, it’s just space but you do see the den.
2.)Do you have a dishwasher?
Yep and I’ve learned to appreciate it a lot over the past few months.
3.) Is your living room carpeted or does it have hardwood floors?
Carpeted
4.) Do you keep your kitchen knives on the counter or in a drawer?
On the counter and in a drawer
5.) House, apartment, duplex or trailer?
House
6.) How many bedrooms is it?
Three
7.) Gas stove or electric?
It’s electric!
8.) Do you have a yard?
Yep
9.) What size TV is in the living room?
I don’t know but it’s too damn big.
10.) Are your plates in the same cupboard as your cups?
No, they don't get along so we had to separate them.
11.) Is there a coffee maker sitting on your kitchen counter?
We are a coffee free home.
13.) What room is your computer in?
It can be in every room since it’s a laptop. We do have a desktop in the office that I should sell for parts though. Any takers? Email me at yourluckychance@yahoo.com.
14.) Are there pictures hanging in your living room?
Nerp
15.) Are there any themes found in your home?
Nope
16.) What kind of laundry detergent do you use?
Surf
17.) Do you use dryer sheets?
yep.
18.) Do you have any curtains in your home?
yep
19.) What color is your fridge?
Boring white
20.) Is your house clean?
Yep
21.) What room is the most neglected?
The back rooms. We just kind do enough to keep them decent until company comes.
22.) Are the dishes in your sink/dishwasher clean or dirty?
Clean
23.) How long have you lived in your home?
Ummmmm, about four years
24.) Where did you live before?
same town, different place
25.) Do you have one of those fluffy toilet lid covers on your toilet?
Just on one. Lol
26.) Do you have a scale anywhere in your house?
Hell no. They are banned.
27.) How many mirrors are in your house?
This requires some thought………….four.
28.) Look up. What do you see?
How far up? This question is stupid.
29.) Do you have a garage?
Yep
And now ….. a little youtube foolishness. I don’t know why but this tickled me.
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