YouTube Foolishness: Flattery Edition

They say imitation is the best form of flattery. I'll let y'all be the judge because right now I.just.can't.

Consider this my notice..................

Work is still kicking my ass. I never thought I'd be one of those folks that would be in the routine of going to work only to come home and work some more. Yet, here I am. Ah well, it makes for a nice paycheck. I still manage to workout (sometimes), eat, bathe, and knock boots somewhere in the middle of this work sammie I've created. This is totally not how I envisioned this week would go. What was I smoking? Maybe I should hit the pipe to help put it all in perspective.

I'll be back after a much needed vacay but until then............

Kids Do the Darndest Things.................

If I leave now, I'll have juuuuuuuuuust enough time to swing by (insert place you know you're not supposed to be) before she gets home.

I know she told me not to touch the cookies but it's just one. She won't miss it.

I'll clean up the den and just tell her I cleaned the whole house.

No mama, I wasn't talking in class.

I wish she'd go to bed so I could get on the phone with Lil Johnny.

I wonder if the car can make it down this flooded street. (it didn't)

She'll never find out.

I don't know about y'all but this is a small list of thoughts from young AR Gal that sometimes managed to get me in world of trouble (and frequently occasionally molly whopped upside the head). Why? Because I wasn't as slick as I thought I was. Granted, I got away with quite a bit of the little stuff but mama always seemed to be in the know when I f'd in a MAJOR way. Thinking back, how could she not? I've got a laundry list of "I did some stupid stuff" tucked away in my belt from when I was a youngster. I'm sure you all do as well but nothing and I mean nothing beats the story of what happened to my friend and her teenage son last week.

Backstory-my friend is black. Her husband is white. They have two children, a teenage son (who he claims as his) she had with her first husband and a four year old with her current beau. They have lived in BFE (Butt Phuck Egypt, i.e. the boonies), a predominantly white town, for the past 8 or 9 years. They've never experienced any issues because of their family makeup.

Back to last week. My friend gets a call from her teenage son that a white man is outside of their home threatening him using racial slurs and has wrecked his car by ramming into it several times. My friend is, undoubtedly, upset. Like balling at work while trying to gather her bearings to get home. She's told me a number of times that one of her worst fears is something happening to him and them not being able to get to him. This is mainly because of the distance because she, the husband and younger son travel to the city each day (the commute is about an hour each way ....like I said BFE) because of work and daycare, leaving their oldest in town (basically) alone.

On the way to the house, police are called. The F--B--I -- is called. The ACLU is even on the list to be called but she never got that far. Why? Cause his ass lied about the whole.dang.thing. He had a wreck but was too scared to tell the truth.

*WOMP WOMP*

After investigating the scene, the po po pretty much knew the kid was lying because there were no secondary car tracks (or debris) in the yard and the fact that they had received numerous reports about a black male in a car (like his) driving erratically down the street. He finally gave in and told the truth but only after being threatened with arrest. *sigh*

The kid got off lucky......with the law anyway. That remains to be seen with his parents. He has been stripped of every luxury. No computer access, no Wii, no Ipod, no cell phone, no nothing. I asked her if he'd apologized or if was remorseful about what he'd done. She said she doubted it. When his dad went to claim the iPod he'd forgotten to take during the initial swipe of goods, do y'all know this lil dude had the audacity to say 'You can't take this, it's mine'.

Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllllllle...................................................iCan't.

I can't recall off the top of my head if I was ever bold enough to get sassy with my mom after getting busted. If I was, I'm pretty sure I regretted it soon thereafter.

Anyhoo for his sake, I hope he's laying low and willingly doing chores. He's got a lot of kissing up to do.

Let's hear it blog land. What's the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid? Spill your guts in the comments. I double dog dare ya!

FB Chronicles: When Keepin' It Real Goes Wrong..............

I know she has good intentions but this is not the type of thing I think should be on display for all to see. I mean really, did she ever stop to think that, I dunno, maybe her cousin didn't want people knowing she's on drugs? I'm just sayin.............

Stream of Consciousness Tuesday

I didn't set a timer...just watching the clock in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. Today is the last day of my five day weekend. I've had a good and relaxing time. I took in a movie (Bridesmaids) today. The chick that played Dougie's sister totally stole the show. She's hilarious. I recommend going to check it out. It's a good chick flick that's not too "chickie" if that makes any sense at all.

I went to Memphis Friday after a visit to the car repair place. I'd been experiencing some vibration\shaking in the steering wheel when braking. Before driving up, I called and spoke with one of the tech's. He asked me of the steering wheel was shaking OR vibrating. Ummmm, dude isn't taht the same thing?

Sidenote-the typo is killin me. There goes another one. Shinickers!

After that I had lunch with friends and made my first visit to the contai.ner sto.re. Yes, my first ever. I purchased a fuzz ball shaver thing. I don't know the exact name for it but it's a contraption that gets rid of the ball thingamajigs that form on your shirts\sweaters. I haven't tried it yet but I've got quite a few sweaters that need it desperately. The underarm and side boob area are always the worst for me.

Memphis was Memphis. Boring as hell but nice to visit with the family. The kids, who are usually bum rushed out of town by my sister as soon as school is out to their dad's, were in town because of activities they have going on.

I made it there only to discover that the car repair folks had fixed my issue but created another. The brakes were pop, lock and droppin' when I slowed down or turn the steering wheel to the right. WTH? I called the next day and let them know. I went back today to have them take a look. All is now well in the world and with my steering\braking contraptions.

Crap, I'm over by like 3 minutes. I guess that's what I get for not using a timer. Oh well.........

This was my 5 8 minute Stream of Consciousness Tuesday post. I got this from Nerd Girl, who got it from Babs, who got it from Rose’s Daughter, who probably got it from someone else. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post. (I don't have a badge...sowwies)
  
• Link up your post below.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Yes.............

Mother's Day has since come and gone but this was too incredibly cute not to post.

Happy Mother's Day lady! LOL!!

When in Rome…………

This post has nothing to do with the title but I couldn’t think of anything catchy to name it. Perhaps I should have left it blank. Oh well, who cares.

So, in the midst of updating you guys on some of the shenanigans going on in the life and world of AR Gal I forgot one of the juicer items. Remember this? Good Lord in heaven I sure hope all of you (who were reading at the time) do because it took me FOREVEEEEEEEEEEEEER to find it in my archives.

Sidenote: Going back and reading some of the older posts and comments was fun. There are quite a few bloggers I need to check back in on to see what they are up to.

Long story short, (used to be) Ace Boon Koon and I are back on speaking terms again. It's not by any means the same relationship we once had but we've been talking off and on for the past few months. Our 'reunion' was a quite the random one. If someone would have told me that we'd run into each at Tarjay during my lunch hour, I would have said nuh uh and called 'em a big ole' fat lie. As life has it, that's exactly how it unfolded.

I didn't see her but she saw me from behind and called out my name. Even in my shocked state we hugged like old friends. And, we talked for a long time. Inside the store as we found our purchases and outside in the parking lot. We covered a lot of things but kind of skimmed over whatever it was that caused us to go our separate ways. She apologized as did I. I'm still not totally sure I did anything wrong but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Ya know, just in case I did.

That's pretty much it. No Lifetime movie here. We're friends again. I guess that's the right way to describe it. Maybe we just associates now. I'm not sure. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I guess it will come to me\us in time.

A little bit of this....a little bit of that

Ay yo! So I'm sitting here watching RHOC and decided that I should blog. Soooooo random!

• Alexis is totally jealous and hatin' on the other housewives.
• Why she's not capable of functioning without her husband for a few hours during a dinner is outside of my realm of comprehension.
  
• Her husband is a controlling ass. Personally, I would enjoy the time away (from him) but that's just me.
  
• Sooooooooooooo, my sister is preggers.........ah-gane. Yep the one that had this bundle of joy.
  
• She hasn't told our mom yet as she is not ready to hear her opinionated reaction. LOL!
  
• For her sake, I hope it's not another boy but as long as he\she is healthy that's all that really matters.
  
• To this day, Mistah and I STILL crack up laughing at this. Don't let the song come on the radio. #stickaforkinme
  
• Remember this dude? I sent the anonymous letter. He's still wreaks. I no longer work with him in any capacity (other than being in the same building) but occasionally see him and catch a whiff of that funky stuff.
• Speaking of work, we're going through yet another re-org. Thankfully, this time with no job loss. I'm currently working on two teams. One temporarily until who knows when. Temp team wants to keep me (and quite honestly it makes more sense for me to be with that group) but office politics has gotten in the way of that. So for now, I'm with them until I'm not. Then it's back to my permanent team. So retarded but hey I still have a job.
  
• This chick is still bamming folks. It brings me mucho joy.
• Remember my BFF's knight in rusty armor? Guess what? He's back in jail for (practically) the exact same shit he did before. He had a wreck while drinking and driving in the car with their child......ag-gane. My words to her, "I love you and usually refrain from telling you (and others) how to live your life but don't let that nigga back in your house or your life." There was, undoubtedly, A LOT more to that convo but that statement pretty much summed up how I feel.
• It really sucks because she has such a big heart and is WAY nicer than I can ever imagine being. That big heart sometimes gets in the way of her using good judgement. I fear that once he gets out (this summer), that she'll take him back.
• Ummmmmm, what else?
  
• Tornados watch\warnings\sirens=scary
• Rain=peaceful until it ain't. (see above)
• Beyond ready for vacation this summer.
• Osama Bin Laden is dead.
  

YouTube Foolishness: Negro Food Network Edition

I actually have a little spare time to post today. What better than with a taste of YouTube Foolishness?!

This fool had the nerve to disable embedding so please Click here

HAPPY V-DAY KIDDOS!

She got a pocket full of stones......................

but they done left her ass alone.

Picture it. January 31, 2011 at the revenue office (the DMV for all you northern folk). I'm waiting in line to renew my license plate tags for a second time mind you.

Sidenote: I have got to do a better job of (1) not waiting until the last minute to do this and (2) making sure the car is assessed BEFORE I renew......especially when the reminder they send in the mail has a big fat NO next to the question has the vehicle been assessed. *sigh*

Okay, so I'm waiting in line but I had seen this delicious beast outside while in my car holding with the property tax folks to work their magic. I only caught a quick glance but I remember my first thought being, 'Ew'.

Once I make it back inside and am standing behind her, my next thought is 'why'? And that I need to take a picture. Thank goodness the line was moving slow.

No really. Why? Anything you can think of just why.

She (yes it was really a lady) exuded all kinds of confidence but damn that body.....

As a fellow member of the flat booty committee, I'm offended.

And now for a musical selection to help ease your soul.......................

RHOA Finale Recap.........................

Head on over to Kelly's spot to get your recap fix!!! I have so many thoughts about last night's finale but I don't have time to type it out. *shakes fist at the man and his demands* I will say I had THE best time reading posts on FB while watching. Speaking of a good time......why did Mistah watch the finale with me. Actually, he watched damn near the entire marathon yesterday. And yes, it was only because there were no NFL games on yesterday.

Me: It's okay baby, you can go ahead and admit it. You're addicted.

Mistah: I wouldn't say that.....they just make it so interesting that I can't stop watching.

Me: Oh okay but you do know that's just another way of saying that you're addicted right.

Mistah: I'm not addicted.

Me: Oh okay.

CTHU!!!! He just wouldn't admit it. I think he got kinda mad because I wouldn't stop laughing at him. To be fair, I was laughing at him AAAAAAAANNNND the show.

I swear dude had me in stitches during the entire finale but the joke he cracked about Peter's mama??!! He said she looked like she just rose from the dead like a zombie in the Thriller video.

|||||||||||||////////////__________________

But really though.....where were her teefus?

Ok, let me get back to work. Well first I need to visit the ladies to see why my chest is tingling. I hope it's not my lactating breasts otherwise I've got a whole 'nother set of problems.

Holla!

(Semi) YouTube Foolishness: Matrimony Edition

This can only be categorized as some ho shit......but I'm still over here LMAO!

Sorry I tried embedding the player but the link doesn't work. :(

Chillin...........

On day two of inclement weather leave from work..........

The only snow I see is in the grass and roofs...........

Streets look clear.....................

I'm not tripping though.....I take free days anyway I can.........

Next up.....MLK Day...............

Sick.......sore throat...........bad cough...............

It's worse in the morning when I wake up.........................

I have a dentist appointment Thursday. Should I cancel?.................

I really don't want to but it's probably the courteous thing to do..............

I've been trying to knock this crud out with my combo of hot toddy's\hot liquids in general(including soup)\med's...........

Seems to be working.........................

Watched Twilight:New Moon on Skinamax this past weekend.....................

Snoozefest.......................................

Ready for the premiere of The Game.........................

I wonder if they will be able to cuss like they did on The CW Network. BET likes to bleep that out so I doubt it......................

I'm an admitted reality court show addict........

No, I don't need help.........................

Can't wait for Maury......hope it's paternity test day........................

I've seen this commercial no less than 10 times today.....................

Gooooooooooood Morning Vietnam!!!

I'm working on a whopping four hours of sleep this morning. And here I thought waking up was going to be the challenge after being off all this time. As if! I planned on getting a full eight hours or at least really, really, really close to it. I spent half of that time up wide awake partially due to a pounding headache. Once I realized my head would not stop hurting, I threw the covers off angrily and took some med's.

Still....no sleep or relief.

Hmmmmm, maybe sitting up will stop the blood from rushing to my head and alleviate my pain. I'm no WebMD but it did help some. I was still bright eyed and Emma was quite bushy tailed that she got to sleep in my lap while I channel surfed. The OWN Network looks like it may be interesting but I thought that damn show with Doctors Oz and Phil and Suze would never end.

How could someone not know that magnesium helps move your bowels? I grew up in a household where Milk of Magnesia was the norm so it's second nature to me. How could you go five days and not poop? Seems like a person would explode or at the very least become really ill. I guess not. I hope that one chick has a BM soon.

I don't think the 52 year old virgin lady will ever get any. I wonder if she has dildos. Would she still be considered a virgin if she uses one but never has sex with a man?

My brain can be both weird and raunchy.

Some relief....still no sleep so I decided to take a bath. That always helps soothe me especially close to midnight. *sigh*

It worked. I'm all ready to go. Problem is, so was Mistah. All my tossin' and turnin' kept him from sleeping peacefully. What's a girl to do? Lift a leg....it's the least I could do.

Don't feel too sorry for him. He busted one annnnnnnnnnnnnd realized (at the very last minute) that he was off today too.

Bastid.