YouTube Foolishness: Pageant Edition

If it wasn't for the mc, dress and stage 'decorations', I would swear this chick was at a karaoke bar. Has she even heard this song before??? What beat was she on?

I'd hate to see her dance.

Sashay Shontae!

As the wig comes off (around the 57 second mark)

Mistah: Is that a DUDE?????!!!!!

Me: (CTHU) Yep

Mistah: Bwahahahahahaha What the hell is this America's Next Top Drag Queen?

Me: Stop it!

When RuPaul starts talking about her wig (around the 1:36 mark)

Mistah damn near falls on the ground laughing.

About ten minutes later I start fidgeting with my headscarf because it wasn't acting right if you will. Then I hear him say, "Just relax for now AR Gal. We gone get your scarf back on your head and everything is gonna be alright".

*DEAD*

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

TRACY MORGAN

+

LAVELL CRAWFORD

=

FUN FUN FUN!!!!!!

Mistah and I are going to check these talented comedians out at the end of May. I heard the announcement on one of the Memphis radio stations this morning and quickly picked up the phone to call him. I received a resounding 'HELL YEAH!!!' when I asked if he wanted to go. :) With this combination, I'm pretty sure I will piss myself a couple of times so I think I'll buy a package of Poise Pads just to be on the safe side.

They will be at the DeSoto County Civic Center (in Southaven, MS right outside of Memphis) May 29th if you're interested.

Can't stop.....

....thinking about this daggone song. I heard it on the radio the other day and it's been playing in my head ever since.

Juicy Fruit

Here's a pic of the baby (my nephew). He turned five months old this past Sunday. Isn't he the cutest juiciest little thing?!

I posted this on FB earlier this week. Some folks seemed to think that I had given birth.

AS IF!

If I ever do, I hope the kid turns out as cute and healthy as him. Too bad you can't go pick up newborns at the store. I'd probably have a house full if that were the case....especially if they were on the clearance rack.

And now for a musical selection.......................

Wrote a story ‘bout it. Wanna read it, here it go

Woke up this morning sleepy as all get out.

Put my contacts in. They didn’t agree with my eyeballs. After 15 minutes of removing and re-inserting with no success, finally just said phuck it and threw my glasses on.

I hate wearing my glasses. Boo.Hiss.

Saw Pedro’s truck this morning but no one in the backseat. Guess they decided to take a break.

Arrived at work and went to the restroom.

Did a full survey of my outfit. Noticed that my maxi skirt was a peep show in the back.

Cursed self for not wearing a longer shirt and checking self out in the mirror AT HOME.

Tried to do some adjusting to camoflauge. Didn’t work.

Went to the store to buy a slip…..which I have plenty of AT HOME.

*eyeroll*

Slips a plenty but none in BLACK. Boo. Hiss squared.

Grabbed a cami top and made it work….Tim Gunn game proper.

Went to check out and got stuck behind a stupid ass b*tch woman that wanted a price check for a greeting card that was supposed to be 25 cents. The original price was FIFTY CENTS!!!!!!

ARE YOU SERIOUS?????!!!!!

Waiting. BG’s ensue. This heffa still wants her 25 cents discount.

Go to check out at customer service while trying to resist the urge to mollywhop said heffa in the back of her head for being stupid.

Hit the restroom up to leave a deposit and put on my shirtslip.

Stop to grab more sunflower seeds. Only one package of the flavored kind left.

FML…

The Villa Marre

Here are the pics from my drive-by past the Villa Marre yesterday. It was neat seeing the house but truth be told I was kind of underwhelmed. It always looked more glamorous on tv. Perhaps it was the lack of sunlight.....yeah that's it. In any event, enjoy!

Front view

Side view

And now for a bit of entertainment



And just for S&G's

FUN FACT

I was saddened to learn about Dixie Carter's (aka Julia Sugarbaker from the show 'Designing Women') passing the weekend before last. I really loved that show and her character. Honestly, I loved everyone ....especially Bernice. She kept me in stiches! Black Maaaaaaaaan, Black Maaaaaaaan! LMAO

In reading the paper this past weekend, I learned something new and fun. One of the writers did a tribute article of sorts about Dixie and her favorite episodes, scenes, etc. Imagine my surprise when I read that the house (where the design firm was) featured on the show is actually a snapshot of the Villa Marre right here in Little Rock. WHO KNEW? Not me. At any rate, I think it's pretty cool.

Here's a link that details a bit more about the history of the house. I think I shall do a drive-by at lunch and take a looksie.

Lookin’ for that good stuff……..

Since Mistah’s job is transitioning to LR we commute to work together on the days that he works in the ‘big city’. The main road to get to his job currently has a lot of construction in progress. As we got closer to the stoplight to make the last turn, we noticed a construction worker crossing the street. Not too far behind him was a scraggly piece of trash petite young lady who, apparently, was scared shitless by the sight of my car approaching her body walking slowly across the street.

Sitting at the stoplight, we observed Pedro walking to a large SUV and opening up the door to the backseat. By the time the light turned green, Peggy Sue had caught up. As we turned the corner, we witnessed Pedro climbing in the back seat. I look at Mistah wide-eyed and Mistah looks back at me laughing. I checked the rearview mirror to make sure no one was behind the car and slowed down.

Mistah: What are you doing?
Me: I wanna see if she gets in that truck!
Mistah: Woman, just drive.
Me: Shut up.

Sure enough, Peggy Sue hops her tail back there with him.

Laughter ensues in our vehicle…….sexual pleasure in theirs.

As Mistah got out of the car, he asked me to promise not to pull up behind the truck to try and take a picture with my camera phone. He claims that I’m always trying to snap something or another. *sigh* Be that as it may, I didn’t pull up to try and watch (that’s just gross) BUT I did go really slow as I passed the front of the truck on my way to work to see what I could see. WHAT?! LOL I only saw his head…..looking down…..no sign of Peggy Sue. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the rest.

And now for a musical selection…………………

Come on....

....VOGUE!

From Glee last night.....AMAZING! I love Sue Sylvester!!

A Little Bit of this, a little bit of that……

•I have two water blisters on the bone on the back of my ankles and it is killing everything in me not to pop those sap suckas! The culprit? A pair of swooshes (aka Ni-Ke) training shoes I scooped up from Sports Academy on clearance this weekend.

•Trying to be Being cute will kill ya. If you ain't know, you better ask somebody...BA-BAAAAY!!

•Guess I’ll go back to my walking shoes and stick to using the new kicks for their intended purpose of training instead walking up and down the boulevard with the pooches.

•I’ll test them out on the new Bowflex we got this weekend. Mistah is so excited. Ya’ll should see him working on his fitness. It’s cute. Lol

•I told him he should take some music in the room to help him stay motivated because he’ll get bored just listening to the sounds of the machine and ceiling fan after awhile. ‘Nah, I’ll be alright’, he says. What did I hear playing yesterday afternoon though? Mmmmmmhmmmm, he ain’t stupid…..at least not all the time.

•My sisters and I received another ‘love’ email from our mother. Just in case you haven’t been reading that long, that’s code for ‘going off’. I won’t go into detail but just know that I was designated as the peacemaker and all is well.

•She fussed talked for two hours skraight. I think I got in 50 words MAX! I was so drained and hongray after that convo. *smh and laughing*

•Sometimes I really hate that she has access to a ‘puter. LOL

•My sisters and I are soooo different. The eldest is the worrier/nurturing type, the middle is the ABW (angry black woman) and me (the baby) well I just don’t give a damn half of the time. I’m the black sheep son!

•I still haven't done my state taxes. Correction, they are done, I just haven't mailed them in. I need to put them in the car to drop off in the morning so I don't forget.

•Anyone catch the ‘Army Wives’ premiere last night? It was pretty decent. I sure hope Joan doesn’t lose her eyesight. I doubt she will thought. Lifetime won't do that.

•I’m sooooo ready for the RHONY reunion show. Just skip all the other stuff and let’s get to it!

•I wonder when the reunion show for ’16 & Pregnant’ will be? Wasn’t the episode last week the last one of the season?

•I really need to start taking the digi-cam to the local Wal-marts ‘cause honey, I saw some mess in there yesterday that would have made ya weep!

•Babs had a post about cheating and what not on her blog the other day. One of the things she listed as cheating was having dinner with someone of the opposite sex and keeping it from your mate. This stood out to me because I go out to lunch with an ex of mine every so often. We dated for a few brief months before I went off to college when I was 17 but it’s nothing I would deem a real relationship. At that age, all I knew was that I stayed horny was getting away from home and would finally get a chance to live the carefree life that God intended me to have....oh and get an education. That’s not the point though but just stating that for clarification. Anyway, I’ve never thought anything of it (or saying something) because (1)I usually go out to eat with someone each Friday or just hang by myself and (2) I don't 'report back' on any of the outings. Anyway, when I do have lunch dates the conversation is usually the same thing, we dish about work and life in general…just catch up.

•Oh and just to clarify something else, this is NOT the dude I posted about the other day. LOL

•At any rate, Mistah knows he and I are friends, I don't think I am cheating (in thought or in action)so I just leave it at that. *Kanye shrug*

And now for a musical selection........

Misunderstood

The life lead we lead, will always lead us
And we pray that he will never leave us
It's the price we pay, I guess that's the reason
Why my grandma sang we all need Jesus.

Common....call me.

Regret

The episode on ’16 & Pregnant’ last night was a doozy and a half……..also an hour and a half. I didn’t realize that an extra 30 minutes had been tacked on until I turned the channel to watch Chelsea Lately. I hate when I miss that show.

So the episode last night followed, two young kids (of course) whose names escape me at the moment. It’s a long sordid story but it basically went down like this:

Girl has a boyfriend for 2 years (or was it 3? I heard her say both)

Girl breaks up with long time boyfriend.

Girl gets rebound guy.

Girl hunches rebound guy one night after he gives her a ride home in his truck after a party.

Girl and rebound guy get pregnant…..with TWINS. *faints*

Girl is 17. Rebound guy is a couple of years older. (They live in WV so this may or may not be considered statutory rape but no one seemed to mind. *Kanye shrug*)

Girl has twins (girls).

Guy actually steps up to the plate, sells his beloved truck for a more affordable form of transportation, gets an apartment for them all to live in, and works two jobs to make sure their ready made family is provided for.

Girl realizes she hasn’t lost that lovin’ feeling for old boyfriend.

Girl goes back to HS, sees old boyfriend, begins hanging out with old boyfriend and slowly but surely begins emotionally disconnecting with rebound guy.

Girl invites old boyfriend over to see twins. (*sigh*)

Old boyfriend gives her the cold shoulder from that point forward.

Rebound guy finds out. They argue and break-up.

Girl realizes the grass isn’t greener.

Girl begins to regret her decision and her actions.

Girl finds out rebound guy is dating other people.

Rebound guy still sees and provides for their daughters.

Girl is alone and brokenhearted.

This episode really got to me because I’ve been in a situation somewhat similar sans the pregnancy ‘cause at 17 I would have been at the clinic after the first pee stick said ‘you the mama’…HOLLA! Back in my young tender days, I was in a rocky, back and forth, break up to make up five year relationship with Lester Smudgles (obviously not the real name). Even with all that, to me he was the greatest until he wasn’t.

During the last few months, I began to have the same emotional disconnect that ‘Girl’ did, grew tired of his asshat ways, what our relationship had become (in my eyes anyway) and dumped him. Time has a way of changing you’re wants and needs, ya know. In order to divert my attention, I began dating my BFF’s brother….twin brother be exact. Not the greatest game plan but he had shown an interest and I needed something else to focus on. What better than another dude?! You know what they say’ to get over the old, get something new’. Hmmmm, that not’s quite right but you get the drift. A few months in, I realized I had made a mistake and that it just wouldn’t work. My rebound guy lived two states away and was much more immature than I remembered. And, my heart just wasn’t in it. Then…regret set in. Did I make the right decision with my long time boyfriend? Was I too hard on him…us? Late night thoughts got the best of me and I caved. I backtracked and tried to patch things up. Too late! He was boo’d up with another lover. Woe is me. Life moved on and so did I but that wasn’t the end of our story.

To be continued…maybe.

GoodNESS!!!

I'm not a huge Jaheim fan but this song right here.......*swoons* And when did he get so damn good looking????? Or has he always been but I chose to ignore it? Either way, homeboy could get it and that's all I gotsta say about that.

If you're reading...call me.