COMA

So I was up late last night watching a documentary called "Coma" http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/coma/index.html. It follows four coma victims who had awakened from their comatose state and their families as they dealt with their life changing circumstance. There was Quan, a 26 year old black male who had been in a car accident 8 wks prior. Roxy, a 19 year white female who had also been in a car accident about the same amount of time before. Tom, a 32 year white male fell and hit his head. I forget what he hit his head on. Rounding out the four was Shawn, a white male in his late teens/early twenties who had gone to study abroad in Europe who was assaulted and thrown over a bridge.

Each families story was heartwrenching and honestly painful (for me) to watch. I cried a lot and already knew that my eyes would be bloodshot red this morning after waking up. One thing that really got to me was when Shawn's brother and mother came to visit him. His brother was talking and telling him what had been going on in his life. All of a sudden Shawn started having somewhat strange behavior. His face was a little red, he was blinking his eyes heavily while rocking back and forth a bit. His mother thought that he had something in his eye. She gently removed his glasses, covered his eyes with her hands and tells him to relax. As she removes her hand and sits down, you see the camera pan a little closer to his face and see that one tear roll down from his eye. That's when you knew that Shawn was there and really experienced his sadness and his pain. I felt it through the screen and I cried with and for Shawn because even though I can only imagine what it is like daily for him.....I just really don't know.

Watching this documentary made me think a lot more about life and my existence in this world. This could have just as easily been me or could be. I hate to come across so morbid but it is what it is. Having that thought also made me wonder what I would want in that situation. I have always told my loved ones that if placed in that predicament with me (especially at the stage where these people were at) to please let me go. Watching the "doc" only confirmed the mindset that I have. IMO, it pretty much guarantees no quality of life for me or them. I would rather they let me go so they could heal and remember me during my good days instead of having a constant reminder of what I had become.

I don't know.....it's a hard life lesson to learn. I know there's a lot more to this issue than meets the eye. This is just my two cents and how I feel.