Showing posts with label Why is this Kid Still Breathin?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Why is this Kid Still Breathin?. Show all posts

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Kids Do the Darndest Things.................

If I leave now, I'll have juuuuuuuuuust enough time to swing by (insert place you know you're not supposed to be) before she gets home.

I know she told me not to touch the cookies but it's just one. She won't miss it.

I'll clean up the den and just tell her I cleaned the whole house.

No mama, I wasn't talking in class.

I wish she'd go to bed so I could get on the phone with Lil Johnny.

I wonder if the car can make it down this flooded street. (it didn't)

She'll never find out.

I don't know about y'all but this is a small list of thoughts from young AR Gal that sometimes managed to get me in world of trouble (and frequently occasionally molly whopped upside the head). Why? Because I wasn't as slick as I thought I was. Granted, I got away with quite a bit of the little stuff but mama always seemed to be in the know when I f'd in a MAJOR way. Thinking back, how could she not? I've got a laundry list of "I did some stupid stuff" tucked away in my belt from when I was a youngster. I'm sure you all do as well but nothing and I mean nothing beats the story of what happened to my friend and her teenage son last week.

Backstory-my friend is black. Her husband is white. They have two children, a teenage son (who he claims as his) she had with her first husband and a four year old with her current beau. They have lived in BFE (Butt Phuck Egypt, i.e. the boonies), a predominantly white town, for the past 8 or 9 years. They've never experienced any issues because of their family makeup.

Back to last week. My friend gets a call from her teenage son that a white man is outside of their home threatening him using racial slurs and has wrecked his car by ramming into it several times. My friend is, undoubtedly, upset. Like balling at work while trying to gather her bearings to get home. She's told me a number of times that one of her worst fears is something happening to him and them not being able to get to him. This is mainly because of the distance because she, the husband and younger son travel to the city each day (the commute is about an hour each way ....like I said BFE) because of work and daycare, leaving their oldest in town (basically) alone.

On the way to the house, police are called. The F--B--I -- is called. The ACLU is even on the list to be called but she never got that far. Why? Cause his ass lied about the whole.dang.thing. He had a wreck but was too scared to tell the truth.

*WOMP WOMP*

After investigating the scene, the po po pretty much knew the kid was lying because there were no secondary car tracks (or debris) in the yard and the fact that they had received numerous reports about a black male in a car (like his) driving erratically down the street. He finally gave in and told the truth but only after being threatened with arrest. *sigh*

The kid got off lucky......with the law anyway. That remains to be seen with his parents. He has been stripped of every luxury. No computer access, no Wii, no Ipod, no cell phone, no nothing. I asked her if he'd apologized or if was remorseful about what he'd done. She said she doubted it. When his dad went to claim the iPod he'd forgotten to take during the initial swipe of goods, do y'all know this lil dude had the audacity to say 'You can't take this, it's mine'.

Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllllllle...................................................iCan't.

I can't recall off the top of my head if I was ever bold enough to get sassy with my mom after getting busted. If I was, I'm pretty sure I regretted it soon thereafter.

Anyhoo for his sake, I hope he's laying low and willingly doing chores. He's got a lot of kissing up to do.

Let's hear it blog land. What's the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid? Spill your guts in the comments. I double dog dare ya!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Girl You So Different and Stuff………..

While perusing on FB a little while ago, I noticed Nerd Girl’s status about one of her co-workers breakfast cuisine of Funyuns and Diet Mt. Dew after her loved one’s health crisis earlier this week. I refrained from posting a detailed reply of my opinion on FB because well it’s FB and you never know who’s zoomin’ who on there but I digress.


One of my colleagues, God love her, nearly lost her life to a stroke and a (near) brain aneurysm a few years back. She’s recovered quite well and there are no signs that she even had a health issue. Well other than the fact that that the hair the doctors shaved off hasn’t grown back as long as it was (past her shoulders) but you would never know that unless she told you. So like I said….no signs. Now while I commend her on making a full recovery, I get annoyed when I see her. Why? Because every morning she stops by my desk to chat, she has a bag from McD’s in one hand (with her and one of those cold coffee thingamajigs in the other. Now I know some of you may be thinking, “Why should you care?” Well, damn shouldn’t she? Now I’m not one to say what I’ll never do because I learned a long time ago that’s just pretty much setting yourself up for failure BUT I’m pretty darn certain I wouldn’t be doing that if I were in her situation. Of course, I’ve never mentioned a word of this to her but sometimes I just want to grab her and shake the shidoobee’s out of her!


Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Perfect Patty when it comes to eating healthy (and exercise for that matter) and I durn sure don’t have a Coke bottle figure. Can you say booty as flat as a map? Hell I just had a burger (no fries) last night BUT it was cooked at home on the Foreman Grill. Holla! I dunno folks, I don’t wanna judge (even though I am) but it just strikes me odd that considering the circumstances that is what her dietary choice is. It’s her choice though and it is what it is I suppose.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I don't think this is what Michael had in mind...........

Ya'll I swear I don't go looking for this stuff....it just finds me.

I had never even heard of this lovely gem of a show, Operation Repo, until a friend shared it with me. It's a reality show about, you guessed it, people's vehicles being repossessed. I'm in love with it already (now I just need to see if we get this network at home). As I'm on the website looking at show clips I discover one (most appropriately) titled 'Just Beat It'. So I'm watching and suddenly become amused when the car owner appears.

Sidenote: I didn't even know Delorian's (sp???) were real freakin cars. I SO thought it was fictional like KITT in Knight Rider.

Anyway, so I really start taking notice of fake MJ at around the 1:37 minute mark. Then I REALLY take notice when I see his pants suddenly transfrom from a somewhat normal length to highwaters. And then he does it.............*weeps*

Pay close attention to 1:55 and watch what happens. If you're anything like me, you WILL make some type of loud outburst.

UPDATE: For those of you that are youtube challenged at the plantation, try this link Look for 'Just Beat It' to the right of the screen (it should be the 2nd video)

Monday, April 06, 2009

Your blood pressure will thank you…………..

Those are the words I said to my friend last week after telling her to quit fussin’ with her 3 year old. I have never understood why folks choose to argue with someone that is just beyond infancy. I seriously can’t wrap my head around it.

She is one of those people. If we are on the phone and her little boy is around, she spends more time fussin’ at and with him than holding a conversation. I find this really strange (not to mention annoying) seeing as the kid has not quite mastered the fine art of basic conversation yet. I personally think that this also creates a bad habit. I’m a firm believer in a kid staying in a kids place and by showing him that he can interrupt her all willy nilly and push her buttons like that is setting a bad example. That’s just me though. Usually he mostly just yells and screams and most times she reciprocates. Lol Needless to say her son has a rather challenging personality (ie, he is bad as hell). Sometimes I will entertain our phone chats, other times I will not. It truly depends on my mood and how much I believe I can withstand from the two of them.

Remember back when I helped her out with the baby shower last summer? Well after that we went to get her kid and to visit with one of our buddies from college. To make a long story short, as we were getting ready to leave I reach to pick him up and he has a fit and starts kicking and flailing. I put him down instantly. This child proceeds to then fall out on the floor in front of the front door. Meanwhile, his mama is trying to reason with him and threatening to spank him (yeah right). I had my keys in my hand, so I just step over him and walk outside and told my friend I’d be ready when she got him settled in the car. Lol I just can’t take all of that hollerin!

Now, this is just me but it seems that it would be much easier to just put the kid on ignore status. Like seriously, pay him/her no attention and just let them fall out, have the tantrum, whatever. Granted I have no children of my own but my niece and nephews have tried this on more than one occasion whenever I was around. I have no tolerance for that kind of stuff, AT ALL, so guess what I did. Yep, I just walked the hell off and let them do their thing. Guess what else? They got over it (especially when they realized that I wasn’t stuttin’ them). Lol I dunno, like I said, I don’t have kids so all this shit I’m talking may fall by the wayside if I ever decide to berf a baby but I’m holding strong for now.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

I'm not a mother......

.....but it this ingrate were mine he would be officially dead to me after this.....for real.

Police say teen plotted to kill mom for breast implants

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/27/implant.hitmen.reut/index.html

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Ain't No Way in Hell!!!

Take a look at this vid and please tell me how/why this kid is still breathing? I laugh at a lot of stuff I see kids do (and thank the lord they ain't mine) but this right here had my blood pressure shootin up through the roof! (Please note the 1:59 minute mark) I had to stop the video for a minute to catch myself. I was about to damage the laptop screen to reach through to slap both of these Dr. Phil watchin dummies. lol

What would you all have done? All I know is Z summed it up for me by saying if we had kids that did that, we wouldn't have none no mo'! lol lol lol lol lol



And for the record, I highly doubt if that was the first time the kid did that. Surprised my ass.....


I'll post about the climb tomorrow. We are headed off to the movies.

Giving you what I got....musically