Showing posts with label Do you know your ABC's?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Do you know your ABC's?. Show all posts

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Kids Do the Darndest Things.................

If I leave now, I'll have juuuuuuuuuust enough time to swing by (insert place you know you're not supposed to be) before she gets home.

I know she told me not to touch the cookies but it's just one. She won't miss it.

I'll clean up the den and just tell her I cleaned the whole house.

No mama, I wasn't talking in class.

I wish she'd go to bed so I could get on the phone with Lil Johnny.

I wonder if the car can make it down this flooded street. (it didn't)

She'll never find out.

I don't know about y'all but this is a small list of thoughts from young AR Gal that sometimes managed to get me in world of trouble (and frequently occasionally molly whopped upside the head). Why? Because I wasn't as slick as I thought I was. Granted, I got away with quite a bit of the little stuff but mama always seemed to be in the know when I f'd in a MAJOR way. Thinking back, how could she not? I've got a laundry list of "I did some stupid stuff" tucked away in my belt from when I was a youngster. I'm sure you all do as well but nothing and I mean nothing beats the story of what happened to my friend and her teenage son last week.

Backstory-my friend is black. Her husband is white. They have two children, a teenage son (who he claims as his) she had with her first husband and a four year old with her current beau. They have lived in BFE (Butt Phuck Egypt, i.e. the boonies), a predominantly white town, for the past 8 or 9 years. They've never experienced any issues because of their family makeup.

Back to last week. My friend gets a call from her teenage son that a white man is outside of their home threatening him using racial slurs and has wrecked his car by ramming into it several times. My friend is, undoubtedly, upset. Like balling at work while trying to gather her bearings to get home. She's told me a number of times that one of her worst fears is something happening to him and them not being able to get to him. This is mainly because of the distance because she, the husband and younger son travel to the city each day (the commute is about an hour each way ....like I said BFE) because of work and daycare, leaving their oldest in town (basically) alone.

On the way to the house, police are called. The F--B--I -- is called. The ACLU is even on the list to be called but she never got that far. Why? Cause his ass lied about the whole.dang.thing. He had a wreck but was too scared to tell the truth.

*WOMP WOMP*

After investigating the scene, the po po pretty much knew the kid was lying because there were no secondary car tracks (or debris) in the yard and the fact that they had received numerous reports about a black male in a car (like his) driving erratically down the street. He finally gave in and told the truth but only after being threatened with arrest. *sigh*

The kid got off lucky......with the law anyway. That remains to be seen with his parents. He has been stripped of every luxury. No computer access, no Wii, no Ipod, no cell phone, no nothing. I asked her if he'd apologized or if was remorseful about what he'd done. She said she doubted it. When his dad went to claim the iPod he'd forgotten to take during the initial swipe of goods, do y'all know this lil dude had the audacity to say 'You can't take this, it's mine'.

Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllllllle...................................................iCan't.

I can't recall off the top of my head if I was ever bold enough to get sassy with my mom after getting busted. If I was, I'm pretty sure I regretted it soon thereafter.

Anyhoo for his sake, I hope he's laying low and willingly doing chores. He's got a lot of kissing up to do.

Let's hear it blog land. What's the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid? Spill your guts in the comments. I double dog dare ya!

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

YouTube Foolishness: Man in the Mirror Edition

I'm going to take a page out of this kid's book and up my affirmation game!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a mirror.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

YouTube Foolishness: Congo Edition

Apparently this.........




is Suzy's interpretation of this. Did she do a good job?



Why don't they play music like this in aerobics classes?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

YouTube Foolishness: Higher Learning Edition

I watch a lot of trash TV if I'm off during the work week allowing my eyes feast on a plethora of phuckery.

Shout out to People's Court and Maury Povich!!!

What I've learned is Education Connection is all the rage! Really, I don't know but with the way the commercial aired (at almost every commercial break last week on Labor Day) you would think so.

Here's the original commercial:



Here's the remake from a little person. I have several comments about that wig but for the sake of being an adult (and the fact the kid was having fun playing around), I'll keep it to myself. :D



GET CONNECTED FOR FREE....it's catchy isn't it?


Wednesday, September 08, 2010

From the Mouths of Babes...............



Willow Smith (daughter of filthy rich Will and Jada Smith) has released a new song titled "Whip My Hair". Have y'all heard it? If not, take a listen. I promise you'll be whippin' your hair back and forth. Then again, maybe you won't but if you do I just hope you don't get dizzy like I did. #coordinationfail

This comment on The Fury blog pretty summed up my feelings pretty well:

THE FUCKERY DOESN’T STOP!
This is my new jam… I don’t need Ciara, Rihanna, Keri or no one else… I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH BITCH!


This song just may make it to the mp3 player if I listen to it enough. Now whip it!

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Monday, March 22, 2010

AR Gal PSA................

When speaking about the Lord (especially on social networking sites), please refrain from using Ebonics or speaking/typing unintelligibly. I beg of you. Seeing the word 'come' typed as 'cum' when trying to holy roll ain't cute. No really it ain't.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

YouTube Foolishness: Junk Food Edition

I haven't graced you all with one of these in awhile. Thanks to FB and my buddy Goli, the wait (not like you all were really waiting, lol) is OVER!! Speaking of, be sure to watch for Lil Mikey aka Lil Wayne's forgotten son. Somebody call Maury!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Saturday, September 19, 2009

If.........

...............a picture is worth a 1000 words, what is a picture of words worth?

I stopped by Sally's to pick up a few hair products and passed this sign on the way to checkout. I almost didn't take a picture, then I thought better of it and whipped out my trusty phone.

You would think they wouldn't have to put up a sign like this. Common sense,it just ain't that common..........apparently neither is book sense.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Higher Learning.........

I came across this little diddy by way of one of my online buds (*waves at Goli...I see you watchin me* lol). In case you can't view the vid, it's a clip of the Bebé Glotun by Berjuan (which translates to gluttonous baby (go ahead and laugh)). Basically it's a spanish toy that includes a baby doll and some kind of halter top that teaches little girls how to breastfeed.

I don't have any kids (and have no clue about how it would actually go down if and when I call myself trying to have and raise one) and I'm all for early sex-ed but this.....I don't know. It's left me feeling a bit weirded out. I think the difference (to me anyway) is that having the sex talk is just that...you talk! Or at least that's how I always thought it was supposed to go down. I didn't realize visual aides were a requirement. Then again what do I know?? My mama tried to have the talk when I was 12 and barely got a rise out of me as I had already had my first (french)kiss by the age of 5 (WHAT? I'm a quick study) therefore I thought I already knew everything. Anyway this thing, well let's just say it's more hands on......to say the least.

Watch and see.



Now after watching this, the only thing I could imagine was some little girl out and about with her mom in a shopping cart with her Bebe' Gluton doll and whipping that daggone top out to breastfeed it. LMAO I couldn't even be responsible for my reaction if my eyes were to ever see some shit like that. What do ya'll think? Is it too much, not enough, just right? Would you be comfortable letting your kids or future kids use this (in public or in private)?

Giving you what I got....musically