A little bit of this....a little bit of that

Ay yo! So I'm sitting here watching RHOC and decided that I should blog. Soooooo random!

• Alexis is totally jealous and hatin' on the other housewives.
• Why she's not capable of functioning without her husband for a few hours during a dinner is outside of my realm of comprehension.
  
• Her husband is a controlling ass. Personally, I would enjoy the time away (from him) but that's just me.
  
• Sooooooooooooo, my sister is preggers.........ah-gane. Yep the one that had this bundle of joy.
  
• She hasn't told our mom yet as she is not ready to hear her opinionated reaction. LOL!
  
• For her sake, I hope it's not another boy but as long as he\she is healthy that's all that really matters.
  
• To this day, Mistah and I STILL crack up laughing at this. Don't let the song come on the radio. #stickaforkinme
  
• Remember this dude? I sent the anonymous letter. He's still wreaks. I no longer work with him in any capacity (other than being in the same building) but occasionally see him and catch a whiff of that funky stuff.
• Speaking of work, we're going through yet another re-org. Thankfully, this time with no job loss. I'm currently working on two teams. One temporarily until who knows when. Temp team wants to keep me (and quite honestly it makes more sense for me to be with that group) but office politics has gotten in the way of that. So for now, I'm with them until I'm not. Then it's back to my permanent team. So retarded but hey I still have a job.
  
• This chick is still bamming folks. It brings me mucho joy.
• Remember my BFF's knight in rusty armor? Guess what? He's back in jail for (practically) the exact same shit he did before. He had a wreck while drinking and driving in the car with their child......ag-gane. My words to her, "I love you and usually refrain from telling you (and others) how to live your life but don't let that nigga back in your house or your life." There was, undoubtedly, A LOT more to that convo but that statement pretty much summed up how I feel.
• It really sucks because she has such a big heart and is WAY nicer than I can ever imagine being. That big heart sometimes gets in the way of her using good judgement. I fear that once he gets out (this summer), that she'll take him back.
• Ummmmmm, what else?
  
• Tornados watch\warnings\sirens=scary
• Rain=peaceful until it ain't. (see above)
• Beyond ready for vacation this summer.
• Osama Bin Laden is dead.
  

Your blood pressure will thank you…………..

Those are the words I said to my friend last week after telling her to quit fussin’ with her 3 year old. I have never understood why folks choose to argue with someone that is just beyond infancy. I seriously can’t wrap my head around it.

She is one of those people. If we are on the phone and her little boy is around, she spends more time fussin’ at and with him than holding a conversation. I find this really strange (not to mention annoying) seeing as the kid has not quite mastered the fine art of basic conversation yet. I personally think that this also creates a bad habit. I’m a firm believer in a kid staying in a kids place and by showing him that he can interrupt her all willy nilly and push her buttons like that is setting a bad example. That’s just me though. Usually he mostly just yells and screams and most times she reciprocates. Lol Needless to say her son has a rather challenging personality (ie, he is bad as hell). Sometimes I will entertain our phone chats, other times I will not. It truly depends on my mood and how much I believe I can withstand from the two of them.

Remember back when I helped her out with the baby shower last summer? Well after that we went to get her kid and to visit with one of our buddies from college. To make a long story short, as we were getting ready to leave I reach to pick him up and he has a fit and starts kicking and flailing. I put him down instantly. This child proceeds to then fall out on the floor in front of the front door. Meanwhile, his mama is trying to reason with him and threatening to spank him (yeah right). I had my keys in my hand, so I just step over him and walk outside and told my friend I’d be ready when she got him settled in the car. Lol I just can’t take all of that hollerin!

Now, this is just me but it seems that it would be much easier to just put the kid on ignore status. Like seriously, pay him/her no attention and just let them fall out, have the tantrum, whatever. Granted I have no children of my own but my niece and nephews have tried this on more than one occasion whenever I was around. I have no tolerance for that kind of stuff, AT ALL, so guess what I did. Yep, I just walked the hell off and let them do their thing. Guess what else? They got over it (especially when they realized that I wasn’t stuttin’ them). Lol I dunno, like I said, I don’t have kids so all this shit I’m talking may fall by the wayside if I ever decide to berf a baby but I’m holding strong for now.

Trouble Don't Last Always......

....or does it? That's what I told my friend after hearing her last drama filled story about her boyfriend. In my previous post (The Weekend Squared), I mentioned that my BFF's little sister was staying with her. The reason why....her man is in the slammer. After a near death experience, he decided to tempt fate, uh-gane (ie again).

I guess I should start from the beginning for this to make any sense. They met a couple of years ago while she was moving from her apartment into her new house. She and her roomate at the time needed some help with the couch. Low and behold her knight in rusty armor just happened to be outside and gave them a helping hand. The rest is history because all I know is that I got a call saying that he had moved in. Hey, no biggie to me! I shack up as well so whatever but I cannot lie and say that I didn't have any concern since she hadn't known him that long....like two or three months. She's a grown-up so I didn't chastize her especially since I ain't her mama.

I went to Nashville that fall (2006) for TSU's homecoming and got a chance to meet him. He was nice, respectful, and cool as a fan. All in all I say he was on his best behavior while the girls were in town. lol A few months later after my visit I get another call.....she's pregnant. Oh vey!! She says it wasn't intentional, it just happened. I CTFU! I'm sorry but I thought that excuse was reserved for teens only. lol After we laugh, I congratulate her. She tells me she's scared and considered terminating the pregnancy but made the choice to keep it. I support her decision, of course, but I stil can't believe it. She never knew but I was in shock or at least I didn't think she did. I tried to cover my surprise by just doing what I normally do when I don't know how to deal....crack jokes and try and make everyone laugh.

Spring foward to late winter/early spring 2007. Her bf has a wreck....a really bad one. Almost took his life. They had gotten into an argument and he left the house to cool off. I can totally relate because that's what I do when Z and I get into a heated argument (read screaming match). The only difference? He likes to sip on sizzurp while he drives. Yeah you read that right...the negro decided it would be a good idea to drink and drive. *sigh* He ends up totalling his car, had to walk around with one of those halo thingamajigs on, and was out of work for couple of months until he healed. I saw pics of the wreck when I went to visit her a few weeks back. All I can say is I hoped he thanked whatever God he worships because he really is lucky to still be alive.

Summer of '07 my BFF has their little boy. He's a cutie pie too! Everything seems to be going well with them. Her bf is made a full recovery and is back at work, the baby is doing well, as is she and then.....more trouble. She had been on my mind heavily for a few weeks prior so I decided to call. We cover the basics and the gossip, then I ask about her about the baby and her bf and she says giiiiiiiiiirrrrlll, he's in ....... I ask her to repeat herself because I didn't think I heard her correctly.

Me: He's in what?
BFF: Girl, he's in jail.
Me: WTF??? Stop lyin!
BFF: *chuckles* I wish I was.
Me: WHAT? WHEN? And more importantly whyyyyyyy?

She goes on to tell me that while she was out of town for the weekend, he took a joyride in her car with their baby, decided to grab some more of that sizzurp, have a few too many sips of the sizzupr and got pulled over by 5-0. Instead of him actually pulling over, he leads the po-po on a wild goose chase, wrecks her car , and starts running with the baby until they are able to stop him. Nope, your not reading a Lifetime Movie storyline folks, this is true life....... unscripted. Luckily she was coming back into town when she got the call from the officers so she could go get the baby (who was fine...thank goodness).

Fast forward to now. Her sister moved in with her, pretty much immediately after that happened, to help her out. During my visit, I talked with her sister about how my BFF was coping because she just didn't seem to be 100%. She said that overall she's okay but it's just been hard for both of them because she was so used to her bf doing everything....cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kid while she just went to work. So she's actually getting to see what it's like to take care of a household (she's not the cleanest person I know, lol) and raise a kid. Her little sister said it's hard for her because it seems as though my BFF wants her to fill the bf's shoes while he is gone. That, IMO, is not fair. It sucks for my friend because I know she had no expectations of having to be a single parent at anytime during her relationship with this guy. It sucks for her sister too because I know she wasn't expecting to be the baby daddy of the household.

The bf gets out at the beginning of next year. I asked my friend if she planned on letting him come back into the house once he's released. She says she doesn't know but I know her too well. Her mannerisms and tone of voice translated to yes. As far as what her sister will be doing after that...I have no idea. If I were her, I would be stackin my $$ as much as possible to move out and get a place of my own. I wish them all the best and hope that he can turn his life around and put that damn bottle down....at least while he is behind the wheel. All of that drama has made me so thankful my life is full of peace, serenity, and birth control pills. lol

Hope your having a great weekend!

The Weekend Squared

FYI....I think this may be the longest post I've ever had so read at your own risk. lol

I think I’m down from my natural high of Obama-Biden win last week so it’s probably safe to post. Lol I’ll do a recap of the past two weekends since I didn’t mention anything about my trip to Nashville (aka, Nashlanta, Nashvegas, Alantaville……*sigh*) These are just a FEW of the ways the locals describe that place. Lol More on my adventures there in a hot minute.

This past weekend was most uneventful BUT our house is mighty clean! I vacuumed, swept, mopped, scrubbed cabinets, dusted, cleaned ceiling fans, washed clothes, sheets, rugs, dogs, my hair. I think I may have even tried to wash Z’s hair! To say I got carried away is an understatement but I had to because while Z made a valiant effort at cleaning up while I was out of town the weekend prior…...his clean just ain’t my type of clean. He does just enough so it doesn’t look sloppy. Lol He recently bought a steam cleaner, ya know like the kind you can rent at the grocery store so he was ready to clean some carpet. He wants to do it once/month since we have two pets and all. I argued that was a bit extreme but hey I’m not the one doing the actual labor so whatever.

The weekend in Nashville was fun as always. I love seeing my BFF and her college buddies (who I now consider my friends as well). I left home at around 2:30 or 3 that morning so I could arrive early, not have to deal with a lot of traffic, and speed so it wouldn’t take as long. My only concern was having to deal with creatures of the Bambi variety. I would add the link from that post about my previous Disney adventure but I don’t remember when I did it so oh well. Feel free to browse the archives though. I saw a good handful of deer between Little Rock and Memphis. I just talked to them to make sure they stayed in their lane so I could stay in mine……at least until I passed them. Lol

Once I arrived we hung out for a bit and then took off to go to the pep rally. Nothing special about that but I did see some gay dudes JSetting (Jett Setting) and some trannies. I have video and pics but my cam is at home so I’ll upload later. To say it is entertaining is an understatement. We took the kids out trick or treating at the mall later that night since it was Halloween. My BFF has a 1 year old and her sister (who is now staying with her…more on that later in another post) has an 8 year old. It was boring as hell but the highlight was this lady dressed up as a Krispy Kreme employee. Her name….Kristy Crème. LMAO!! She was decked out with a KK hat, an apron, a too short dress, a white jacket to cover up the ass that showed because her dress was too short, white tights, and skripper shoes!. I tricked her into taking a pic with my friends nephew (the 8 year old) so that I could capture all her on film. I‘ll upload that too once I figure out how to block his face out.

Saturday included the parade, tailgating, and partying that night of course. Prior to us going out that evening my BFF and her sister got into it. This is nothing new to me. My BFF, her twin brother, and her sister always argue….ALWAYS! And it’s ALWAYS about the dumbest shit known to man. I’ve known them since I was 9 years old so I just shut up, listen, laugh, and wait it out. Well that evening, her sister was cooking something (I can’t remember what exactly) and my BFF made a comment about how she felt it should be done. Next thing I know her sister is going off, my friend is going off, and I head upstairs to curl my hair. Lol One of the college buddies eventually comes upstairs to where I was at and whispers, “Have they always been like this?”. I just nod my head and laugh. I told her best bet was to just stay out of the way because they would be done in about 20 minutes or so and sure enough I was right. Well it turns out little sister was REALLY po’d because she straight up left the house. LMAO! So I keep getting ready and the others do as well. About 30 minutes pass and I ask my BFF had she called her sister. She says yeah but she’s not answering the phone. Then she starts going off on a tangent about how she knew she would try and ruin this weekend for her blah blah blah. I just looked, shook my head, laughed, and told her both of them were acting like kids. Well lil sis eventually comes back and as soon as she walks through the door my BFF is all over her like white on rice. “Where did you go? ….Why didn’t you answer your phone?.....blah blah blah” I kindly (not really) told her just to shut up and let her cool off because the last thing you need right now is for your babysitter to remain po’d and leave again because we (pointing to the others) don’t need a babysitter and are going out with or without you. LMAO!

We finally get ready, give each other the girlfriend “you look good!” stamp of approval and are ready to leave out the door. My BFF takes the baby, let me remind you that he is ONE, over to her nephew (who is EIGHT) and sits the baby on his lap and says perky as hell, “I’m ready!”. *blink blink blink*

Me: Are you going to go upstairs and tell your sister we are leaving so she knows the kids are down here by themselves?
BFF: She’s not even talking to me, what am I supposed to say?
Me: Are you for real?
BFF: silence
Me:*pushing her in the bedroom so the kids don’t hear me cuss her out* Seriously, both of ya’ll are way too old for this shit. She’s not talking to you? What are you supposed to say? That boy is eight years old…your baby is ONE use some common sense.Take your black ass upstairs and tell your sister, who is gracious enough to watch your child, that we are leaving.
BFF: But…..
Me: Put on your big girl panties and grow the fuck up….for real.

So she does and we leave. After we all got in her ass in the car, we did surprisingly have a very nice time that night and a remainder of the weekend. Sunday was a relax day and Monday I left. All in all a fun time was had even if I did almost have to choke a beesh.



Friends….gotta love ‘em.

Have you ever......

....... had a convo with one of your friends where you seriously just wanted them to STFU??!! This happened recently to me while speaking with a friend of mine on the way home from work. We had to cut our convo short as she was at the eye doctor and was just called back to the examining room. Not ten minutes later she calls me back:


Friend: You will NOT believe what just happened to me

Me: Nope...what?

Friend: Okay, so I had just gotten called back for the doctor to see me. She comes in the room to tell me that she will be right with me but she needs to take a call from her vet. She comes back in the room and just before she starts to examine my eye, she breaks down crying.

Me: Her pet must have been really sick or died.

Friend:How did you know?

Me: Weeeeeellllll, it was kinda obvious. Which one was it?

Friend: Girl, her dog died and then this bitch canceled my appointment.

Me: Yeeeeaaaah, that's hard to deal with so I could see why she would.

Friend: Puuulease! We're talking about a damn animal not a human being here!!!

Me: *hears record scratch in my head* Ummmm, what?

Friend: She should have just taken a few minutes to get herself together and come back in to do her job.

Me: Yeah, so you know you called the wrong one to vent to right?

Friend: What?

Me: *I repeat what I just said above* I hear what you're saying but a lot of people, such as myself and Z, think of their pets as family so when you have that loss it's hard.......extremely hard. I've lost a pet before, as you know, and that shit hit me like a ton of bricks. Unless you've had that experience it's hard to relate. I don't expect you to understand though.

Friend: I mean I understand the woman is sad but damn...I had to drive all the way from (insert small town AR about 20 minutes away from LR) to get there and now I have to drive back next with.

Me: I can sympathize with that BUT would you rather her have tried to examine you with tears and snot fallin down her face and doing a poor job at it? Me personally, I would have preferred that she rescheduled so that she could do her job with a fresh mind.

Friend: I guess. I may not even go back now...I'm pissed

Me: Bless your heart.


I was not upset about her feelings about the situation, I just really wanted her to shut up talking to me. I know she was upset and needed someone to vent to but I mean seriously.....*sigh*

Yeah I know...I have issues.

Party Favors..........

So everything went well with the shower Saturday but the start of my day did not. I woke up early that morning to finish washing clothes (I had started the night before). I went to take the load out that had dried the night before and the clothes were still wet. I remember turning the thing on and hearing it roll around. Hmmmmmmmmm I restart the machine and I hear the power going through it but the drum wouldn't roll. Great, just phluckin great. *insert scream here*

**Sidenote: Have ya'll ever seen that show "Snapped" on Oxygen? Ummm, yeah I was THISCLOSE right then....THISCLOSE. First the air in the car, now this??!!

After throwing a tantrum (ie banging my head against the wall), I calm myself down and finish washing the clothes to take to the laundromat to dry. While there, I decided to just stop worrying about it, called Z to let him know so he could look at it when he got home from work and decided to focus my energy on the shower.

Sidenote: I'm happy to report the problem was nothing more than the belt needing to be replaced and we now have a fully functioning dryer again.

I met my friend to follow her to her FIL's house so I could park my car and ride with her. She was on time meeting me but behind in getting her stuff done. I thought we were heading straight over to the house to setup but it turns out we had to stop and get the cake and a couple of other things....no biggie. She drops me off @ Party City to pick up a laddle and she rides down to Kroger to pick up the cake. It takes me all of 1 minute to find what I need and pay for it so I just walked down the sidewalk (after almost busting my butt thank you very much) to the grocery store to find her. Once we walk around getting other last minute items, we head to the bakery. Now let me preface this by saying that she said that several people had recommended the bakery to her and told her how great the cakes were. The woman pulls the cake off the rack and it looks a HOT ASS MESS! lol lol lol The first thing I notice is that one of the corners is missing icing. I mean, all you see is brown! lol My friend by this time is just real quiet. After 13 years, I know that means she's pissed. She looks at me and rolls her eyes and I just put my head down 'cause I already know she's about to say something crazy. She asks for the baker and she comes up to the front.

Friend: We've got a problem
Bakerlady: Excuse me?
Friend: This is not what I ordered. The cake is pink, I asked for peach. The trim is messy, hell it ain't even in a straight line and this corner doesn't even have icing on it.
BL: Well ma'am, the cake is peach, I can show you the color palettes we work from and how pink and peach look. I did the cake like you asked.
Friend: Well, let's say the cake is peach, which it's not, what about the trim and missing icing? I mean did you think it was finished?
*me trying to ctfu*
BL: I apologize for that
Friend: Let me......let me just.....I'll be back

So we walk off to go get some oranges for a flower arrangement she was making.

Friend: Does that cake look peach to you? I'm just trying to make sure it's not me
Me: Hell no. That's pink if I ever saw it. Now that, nodding my head in the direction of this woman I saw, is peach. Her shirt is peach. lol
Friend: lol
Me: Go ask her to go stand next to that cake so you can show that woman what peach looks like. lol
Friend: Girl what am I gonna do? I am too embarrassed to show up with that shit.
Me: Weeeellll, you need a cake but I wouldn't pay for that ish nor would I want it.
Friend: Me either

So we go back to the bakery and she proceeds to tell the folks that she doesn't want it.

Me: Ummm, so no cake?
Friend: Oh I'm getting a cake. I'm going to stop by Sam's and pick one up
Me: Can they have one ready that quick?
Friend: Yeah, if I just get a pre-made one. Hell anything beats that shit in there.
Me: You got a point

So off to Sam's we went and 20 minutes later out she comes (I waited in the car) and off to the house we went. There was a nice turnout and the bride to be rec'd some nice gifts even though several people were still rolling in after it officially ended. *rollin eyes* Now just imagine, my friend, her SIL, and myself are cleaning up packing up the food and these kneegrows are coming up in there trying to get a plate. Da hell??? I gave this one girl this look that said if you don't get the hell away from me. The funny part is we forgot all about the cake until it was over. I realized it while going back to get one of the food trays. Most people were still there so my friend made a quick "oh yeah we've got cake too" announcement and that was that. lol

The Verdict is in......................

In the case of "To Help or not to Help a Friend", my conscience has found that AR Gal should indeed help her friend out.

What Z said that day really stuck with me and it made sense. Someone asked me had she ever gone out of her way for me and until that question was posed I hadn't even thought about it but yes she has. I won't go into the details but it was many many years ago (hence my memory lapse) and she was truly a friend indeed for a friend in need. lol I called to confirm with her that I'll be there and all is well. She told me that about 35-40 people were invited and that most of those people had called to confirm. I hope that house it's being held in is not small 'cause it's gonna be hot in there if that's the case. lol

In other news, the phluckin air in my car has decided to malfunction in out in the middle of the got damn summer. When you turn it on it comes on but then it shuts itself off.....then it turns itself back on.....then it shuts itself off. Da hell? I took it to the shop today but of course it didn't mess up while they had it but sure enough as I pull driving out of the parking lot off it goes and in reverse I went for them to pull it back in. lol It was close to closing time for them so I have to go back tomorrow for them to keep to see what's going on. One of the guys said it's probably a short somewhere which is what Z predicted as well. I don't give a care what it is I just want it fixed.....like NOW!!! UGH!!

I need a favor.........

I don't know about you but that phrase always makes me cringe. Why? 'Cause favors people ask of me always seem to be bit much IMO.

Example 1:
My eldest sister: Could you do me a favor?
Me: Depends
ES: Would you mind taking off work, flying up to STL to help me drive from STL to Atlanta? I don't think I could make it all that way having to deal with both boys.
Me: Ummmm, don't you have a husband?
ES:So I guess that means no.
Me: *silence*

Example 2:
Co-worker: Could you do me a favor?
Me: Depends
CW: Could you drive me to (insert restaurant name here)? I need to pick up the lunch ordered for boss lady and I don't how to get there.
Me: *trying not to blow my breath and roll my eyes* I'll go with you but you're driving.

Example 3:
Friend: Could you do me a favor?
Me: Depends
Friend: Would you mind helping me with a shower I'm throwing next weekend? It's for such and such I used to work with.
Me: Who?
Friend: such-n-such. I don't think you met her or maybe you did, I don't remember
Me: Hmmmmmm, where's it at?
Friend: In Sherwood
Me: Hmmmmmmmm
Friend: My sister-in-law will be there to help to but I think I may need an extra pair of hands
Me: Hmmmmmmmmm, I'll think about it and call you back.


Example 1 was cut and dry no for me because my sister was going to a family reunion of some close family friends. My mom was also going but she was flying....as my sister should have. All of us had been invited but I had chosen not to go (and had told her this on several occassions). I still cannot wrap my head around why she asked me to help her drive down there. My folks work my nerve.

The request in example 2 really wasn't so bad but it was just the fact that she asked me to drive? The hell??!! If YOU need help, then YOU are driving....case closed.

Example 3 just happened yesterday. I told her I would think about it so that's what I'm doing now. As stated, she is throwing a shower for some girl she used to work with. I don't know the girl and if I ever saw her when I used to stop into the shop to visit with my friend I don't remember her. She told me her name but ummmm yeah...it didn't ring a bell. I asked her where it is being held for a reason because I thought maybe it was going to be in the town where I live (In Conway about 30 minutes away from Little Rock). Sherwood is on the other side of North Little Rock (which is just across the river from LR)....basically a nice little drive.

My first thought is hell no. My thing is this, I wouldn't ask my friends to go out of their way like that, especially for someone they didn't know. I was talking with Z about it last night and he said that there is no right or wrong response to her request but maybe it would help if I thought about it from the aspect of even though I don't know the girl, my friend needs my help. Hmmmm, true but still. Either way I'll let her know something by tomorrow at the latest.

What do ya'll think? Am I being mean? Please be honest.....it's always better than the giving the "right answer" in my book. Thanks!! :-D