My mama...................

Please say a prayer, send up good thoughts, be hopeful for my mother today as she goes into surgery.

Long story short, she had a partial hysterectomy after I was born and they are going in to finish the job today. Because of other issues she's been having, the doctor will also be checking out other stuff to make sure there is no cancer involved.

I'm scared but am trying HARD to stay in the positive.

Reality TV: Sister Wives

Sister Wives, a reality show(on TLC) about a polygamist family, premiered last night. Plural marriage has always fascinated me but doesn't mean I'm into man sharing. One trick pony over here kids! I watch 'Big Love' religiously (can't wait for 1/2011) so I knew that I'd be tuning in to learn more about how it works in the real world. For those of you that watch 'Big Love' did you find yourself trying to compare the wives to Barb, Nikki and Margene? I did. LOL

You can learn more about the family here because I refuse to type all that shnit out. The one not mentioned in the link is Robin (the brunette on the far right). They are currently engaged to be married but on the show the relationship has just been introduced. She comes to the family previously married with three kids. One thing that intially threw me for a loop was that wife #2 (Janelle) had a 15 year old yet wife #1's (Meri) child was 14. It was later explained that the children were not born in the marriage(s) *shrugs shoulders* until after wife #3 (Christine) was brought on board.

There was admitted jealousy and difficulty in having to divvy up the time with Kody(who I instantly nicknamed HOH, that's head of household for all you non Big Brother watchers). There was also honesty in admitting a sense of relief that there were two other women there to pick up the slack should something happen (like the death of another mother) or just because one of them wanted to go to do something on their own. Instant babysitting! Hell with 13 kids, I can't blame them. I bet Michelle Duggar wishes she had a stand in. Then again, she's got enough kids to start her own babysitters club.

First impression, these folks seem really normal they just happen to be living a not so normal family life.

THOUGHTS? DISCUSS!

Random thought: It sure would be nice if I could do this for a living. Hmmmmmmmmm...........

TEEN MOM...........

Amber

• The next time she kicks Gary out, he should just go and sit on the porch until she changes her mind.
  
• They are so damn in love with being dysfunctional that it's comical at this point.
  
• With that being said, I can't wait to see her mollywhop him upside the head next week. What?
  
• Poor baby Leah

Farrah

• This chick should be the poster child for the 'Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child' movement. Like seriously.
• How many folks think she wants to use the money for her and not just the baby?
  
• Why didn't she put the boys name on the birth certificate????!!!!
• As so eloquently stated by Babs, " I really like that attorney. I appreciate his tell it like it is style."
• I wish her attorney and shrink could get her in a locked room to really shake some sense into her. Talk about a reality check. I would pay GOOD MONEY to be a fly on that wall.
  
• Someone told me that she didn't even tell the boy she was pregnant. He had to find out about it through the grapevine. Don't know how true that is but it wouldn't shock me. That's typical Farrah dumbassedness behavior.

Catelynn and Tyler

• Is it insensitive of me to think they are dwelling on the adoption way too much? Like EVERY thing is about the baby they gave up. Oh and Butch being back in jail and\or rehab(which I've figured out is just really always been code for jail) I mean come on, don't they ever talk about anything else like I dunno.......homework?
  
• Probably not as evidenced by those C's and D's Catelynn has on her report card.
• I didn't realize Catelynn's mother's (aka METHod Mom) forehead was so damn big. It looks like an enlarged gourd.

Maci

• I'm drawing blanks. I really don't remember much about her story last night other than her actually moving to Nashville to be with Magilla.
• I guess it's a good thing the aftershow is all about Maci

Thoughts? DISCUSS!

I MET BABS THIS WEEKEND!!!

Nooooo, silly wabbits. Not THAT Babs! Wally World checker Babs. Excuse the blurriness. She was going fast and I was trying to be incognegro.

And now for a musical selection............................

YouTube Foolishness: Higher Learning Edition

I watch a lot of trash TV if I'm off during the work week allowing my eyes feast on a plethora of phuckery.

Shout out to People's Court and Maury Povich!!!

What I've learned is Education Connection is all the rage! Really, I don't know but with the way the commercial aired (at almost every commercial break last week on Labor Day) you would think so.

Here's the original commercial:



Here's the remake from a little person. I have several comments about that wig but for the sake of being an adult (and the fact the kid was having fun playing around), I'll keep it to myself. :D

GET CONNECTED FOR FREE....it's catchy isn't it?

The verdict's in.....................

The Zip It is a winner! We didn't have nearly as much gunk down thereas the folks that videoed their escapades and there were definitely no decomposed roaches (and\or any other other life forms) found. Thank goodness!







One thing I didn't realize (until after I got home and read the directions) is that the Zip It is meant for a one-time use only.


Mine is currently back in its packaging resting under the sink in the bathroom.

Granted, I hadn't planned on the thing lasting a lifetime but definitely thought it could go at least....I dunno 10 rounds. I suppose I understand the logic especially if you buy products of the Draino type variety. More than likely you'd probably only get one use out of it (especially if the clog is really bad) but hey I'm still determined to get my monies worth. All $2.42. :D

And now for a musical selection..................................

YouTube Foolishness: Ice Cream Man Edition

Stupid is as stupid does.

I have no sympathy for this fool. He got exactly what he deserved. Hell, the ice cream man honked. He should have been paying attention.

Watch it twice (or more) for maximum effect. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha


And now for a musical selection.......................



YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSS!!! I used to live for this song!!!!

Whip it, now Zip it!

After watching Chappelle Show on Comedy Central last night, the Tosh.O show came on. I was too lazy to get up and get the remote that I stupidly laid right by the TV (who does that by the way?) to see what else was on the boob tube so I got comfy with the laptop and watched. Having never seen an episode of Tosh.O, I was taken by how completely RANDOM the show is. Like really, really, REALLY random. I have no idea what purpose it serves but it's on Comedy Central so I guess it's suppose to be funny. *shrugs shoulders*

While I'll probably never watch it again, it did benefit me to watch last night as I was introduced to the Zip It. This handy dandy thing pulls all the grimy gunk out of your bathtub drain. And it's cheap! From what I've read, it ranges around $2-3 and can be found at stores like Lowe's, Home Depot, Wally World, etc. After watching videos of people using it (these folks found a dead roach in theirs...*gags*), I was ready to head down to the store to get one and try it out. Luckily common sense reigned supreme and I laid my black ass down to go to sleep. I will be going to get one this weekend. I will not,however, be filming it to put on youtube so you can watch this one instead.

YouTube Foolishness: Saturday Night Fever Edition

Now this.....this is the type of ish that goes down on a Saturday night at the house when there ain't nothing else to do. If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'! I spent many a night growing up in the sticks doing the same thing...sans the video camera. I still can't help but laugh at dude looking and dancing like someone's Uncle Cletus.




Be sure to go and check out the latest post, Khaki La'Hansen, on Not All Baltimore Chicks are Stupid.. (the link is in my blog roll)

TOTAL AWESOMENESS!!!!!

From the Mouths of Babes...............

Willow Smith (daughter of filthy rich Will and Jada Smith) has released a new song titled "Whip My Hair". Have y'all heard it? If not, take a listen. I promise you'll be whippin' your hair back and forth. Then again, maybe you won't but if you do I just hope you don't get dizzy like I did. #coordinationfail

This comment on The Fury blog pretty summed up my feelings pretty well:

THE FUCKERY DOESN’T STOP!
This is my new jam… I don’t need Ciara, Rihanna, Keri or no one else… I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH BITCH!


This song just may make it to the mp3 player if I listen to it enough. Now whip it!

YouTube Foolishness: Little People, Big World Edition

Reality TV Shenanigans.........................

Teen Mom

I fell asleep on it last night about half way through. No worries, that's what repeats are for. I saw Macy(ie\e\whatever) contemplating moving to Nashville to be closer to magilla gorilla. Was I the only one screaming nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!???!!! Did ya'll peep how he was quick to shut down the idea of him moving back to Chattanooga? RED FLAG!

Let me stop but for real....RED FLAG!!! Finish school first home girl (especially while you have a good support system in place), then worry about trying to make it clap for the monchichi.

I didn't see much of Amber or Gary (thank goodness). All of that hollerin' raises my pressure! Speaking of, I sure could go for a burger from The Hop in Little Rock today. YUM! I'll be a good girl and wait until Friday (my designated 'eat out for lunch' day). If you're ever in town, stop by and have one (the one on Cantrell Rd. by Mc'D's NOT the one in the Rivermarket).

I also missed the much hyped blow up between Mrs. Coke-head (aka Catelynn's momma....oh don't tell me ya'll don't think she's on the pipe) and Catelynn.

Farrah was pretty boring this week as far as I could tell. I guess there's not much that's interesting about trying to hustle up rent money. Well unless you're trying to raise the funds on the pole or the cor'na!

US Weekly magazine did a story on the girls a few weeks back (you find these things out being bored at work during down times at work). I only got a chance to read Farrah's. For those of you that don't watch the show, the father of her child died a couple of months before the baby was born. So sad. BUT she also admitted that they weren't on speaking terms before his death but she thinks he would have been a good dad. *coughRyancough* Hmmmmmmmmmm...........perhaps.

RHONJ REUNION (BEEYOTCHES)!!!!!

Do not bring up my family!!!! Do not bring up my family!!!! ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Bwahahahahahahahahaha Who watched it? Who saw it? Who can't wait for part deux??







I found this hilarious cartoon parody clip of the RHONY Season 3 reunion

HB2M!!!!

If you've got your Little Orphan Annie Secret Society Pins, you'll know that stands for Happy Birthday to me!!!!!!!

Hmmmm, now which birthday should I celebrate again ?

Mmmmmm, too young


Too......boring


Too old!


Juuuust right!!!

That's right, I'm 25 so come on out and wish ya girl a Happy Birthday!!

And now for a musical selection........

FB Chronicles

I had a couple of comments from some high school classmates on FB regarding some of the content I posted on two separate occasions.

Apparently I need help because I used a picture of a gay man, Lafayette Reynolds (from True Blood), as my profile pic

And I quote, "whats up with this pic, Hon. if you need someone to talk to im always here."

Why don't I just call AA, SA, DA and whatever other anonymous group there is while I'm at it? Honestly, the comment made me crack up laughing when I first read it. Then I re read it and was confused as to why a simple picture would cause such a reaction. Weird much?

After posting about UGK playing on the radio one day, I found out that I'm also apparently hood because I like their music.

Rude boy: I didn't know you were hood.... You know about Sweet Jones (Pimp C).

Me: I hardly think listening to UGK qualifies me as being hood. o_O.

Rude boy: Just a little.

Me: Negro, please stay out of my inbox.

Just to note from the time I friended this dude, he constantly sent me crazy ass messages. I'm sure he meant nothing by it but at this point I was just tired of him bothering me.......hence my reaction.

There's no point to this post (obviously) other than I find people to sometimes by really strange.

And now for a musical selection (that I just thought of at 9:18 pm (about six or seven hours after posting this))

A little bit of this, a little bit of that…………..

• I've been having some weird dreams lately. Did I ever tell y'all about the one with Cochise driving a Camaro? Mistah got quite a laugh out of that one especially when I told him how he went from walking on all fours to his hind legs, walked to the car, got in and drove off. Burning rubber and all.
• The Rickey Smiley morning show is now syndicated in our area. I'm still feeling it out to see if I like it but it's good to have another option. I can't stand the (only black) local morning show w/Broadway Joe *gags* but can deal with Tom Joyner.
  
• They are doing paternity test day on the RSMS. The babies name is a combination of her mother (Erica) and maybe daddy (Andre), Ericandre. Yeah, let that marinate for a minute. Ericandre. They may as well have name the poor child Anaconda! Erica thinks Ericandre*snickers* may not be Andre's because they are both light skinded and the baby is dark skinded (that's what she said). I'm listening to the stream at work now so I can hear the results. LOL
• Shaquan Duley said she wanted to be free. I just don't think that's going to happen now my dear. Then again, maybe she does feel freedom now. Poor babies....RIP.
  
• Teen Mom.....lord have mercy I feel so sorry for baby Leah and Sophia. Leah's parents (Gary and Amber) are idiots and Sophia's mom (Farrah) doesn't have a damn clue.
  
• Tyler and Catelynn have slowly but surely gotten on my nerves. Couples counseling at 17?!? Wanting your girlfriend\fiancee' to provide cell phone records to see how many times she's spoken with her ex-boyfriend from three years ago. Boo, she was 14!!!!! I'm so over them.
  
• One of my friends said on FB last night that Maci's new boyfriend looks like a white gorilla. When provided with proof, I couldn't even argue with her.

And now for a musical selection..................

Movies

If you're looking for some movies to pass the time at home while you beat the heat, I've got a couple of recommendations for you.



A couple who is expecting their first child travel around the U.S. in order to find a perfect place to start their family. Along the way, they have misadventures and find fresh connections with an assortment of relatives and old friends who just might help them discover "home" on their own terms for the first time. (from imdb.com)

This is really good dramedy (mostly comedy) that keeps your attention from beginning to end. The visit to the male lead sister's house Ellen\L.N is not to be missed.....classic!

Get into US borders by illegal ways could be a dramatic journey, but this is not a problem for Reina, a colombian teenager who only wants to live the american dream in NY. Her boyfriend is confused about his feelings and follow her, leaving behind his own dreams and a quite and simple life back in Medellin. When he faces the reality and find out his current situation alone in the big apple and with nothing else in this pockets but hopeless and sadness about his choices, we find out a story about turns and crude reality. (from imdb.com)

I caught this film during a bout of insomnia last week. It drew me in from the very first scene. This movie gives a very good and an extremely detailed look into what it's really like for those that choose to immigrate illegally into the US. While it's just one story, it almost seems like two as it chronicles the people's travel to the states as well as their journey once they make it here parallel with one another. While the story mainly follows two kids 'in love' Reina (aka crazy bitch) and Marlon (aka my future baby daddy in another life), it does of good job of bringing other characters into the fold to help round it out.
(This movie does have subtitles so if you're not into reading and watching, you may want to sit this one out.)

I could tell you...............

about how I went to the ER last night* or about how I finally found another car** BUT Mother Earth intervened (once again) and threw me a taste of phuckery. She knows how I love it so. :D

So below is a wall post from the K97 (a local radio station in Memphis) early morning team. Each week they do the jackass wall which is basically a free for all for people to vent about who or whatever is currently pissing them off. Usually there are a lot of comments from people complaining about their baby daddy, baby mama and of course THE HATERS! *sigh* Sometimes....just sometimes (okay it probably happens more often than I think because there are A LOT of ig'nant folks in Memphis) you get the occasional dummy that should be featured on a 'When Keepin' it Real Goes Wrong' poster.

Ladies and gents, I give to you Diamond Infiniti. Now we are just not going to say A THING about how s\he looks more like the Rock of Gilbralter than a Diamond. But I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard it from me!

Just in case you can't see the lovely text:

Diamond Infiniti puttin myself on the jackass wall for playing like i was sick three days last week and taking off work now i got a short ass check today

Here's a better pic of Diamond so you can see what I'm saying.

Really? You telling off on yourself about really not being sick..............ON FACEBOOK! And have the nerve to complain about your check being short as a result of your actions.....................ON FACEBOOK!!!! GIRL\BOY BYE!!! LMAO!!!

*I'm totally fine now. I really don't know what it was but it hurt bad enough to make me feel like my life was in danger. Maybe bad gas?? *shrugs shoulders* Whatever it was had something to do with that daggone Stouffer's lasagna we had for dinner last night. Please trust that none of their products will EVER enter my stomach again. Whatever was going on in my tummy resolved itself before they even got a chance to call me back for the full examination. Go figure.

**I finally found a car at the end of July. It's another Maxima....not a new one *tears* but it's still really nice. *smile*

And now because I can't think of an appropriate musical selection, let's just dance instead.

Is it just me or does CB look uber geigh dancing surrounded by a circle of men.

Take it or leave it........

After we got to Memphis Saturday, I informed my mom that the kids had about $100 left from the money their parents had sent down with them. She advised me that I should keep it. I told her that wouldn't be right and that I wasn't comfortable with keeping money that was not intended for me. Now if I found some money in bank bag in the parking lot of a store.....totally different. LOL!!

Mama: Well if you don't want it, I'll take it.

Me: (head cocked to side side) Mother, really..........*sigh*

Mama: I'm just saying with the time and gas you spent picking them up and dropping them back off it's only fair. How about I have a conversation with her in private about it?

Me: Ummmmmm, no. It's not that serious.

Mama: Suit yourself.

I was talking with Mistah about it after I returned and he said that he agreed with my mom. Along with the things she mentioned, he stated that I had taken a week off from work to do this and had dedicated seven full days to caring for these kids. And even though it was paid time, it was still time that I didn't have to take off if I didn't want to.

Exactly. I didn't have to. I could have told her no at any point but I chose to do it. Actually the original plan was for them to drive down to our house and pick the boys up. I opted to drive them back because I wanted peace and rest during the remainder of the weekend. Adding two additional adults (one of which probably would have wanted to cover the entire central AR area visiting folks during the short time she was here) and an eight month old child to the mix would have definitely not allowed that to happen.

$100 is a lot of money to me but not enough to create unnecessary drama....especially when it wasn't mine in the first place.

What about ya'll? Would you have taken the money?

Mission BBA(s): Wrap-Up

Yep, that's right. I'm totally lumping all remaining days into one. It's been a whirlwind since day four. Soooooooooo, let's see.

So after the early day birthday celebration, as planned, we took the kiddos to the go-cart place. With them still being so young, we had to do the double cart thing so Mistah and I could drive them around the track. All was going well until I phucked sh!t up! As I was bringing the cart into the bay, I misjudged the spacing between the space the cart goes in and the cement block that separates the lanes where the carts are parked. Here's a pic to give you an idea of what I mean.


Unfortunately for us, there were no tires in front of the thing to help soften the blow. Also, I wasn't going that fast so that helped BUT that crap still hurt!!! BBA #2 was riding with me and suffered the fate of my mind blowing go-cart skills. I was so shocked by what I had just done that I didn't even notice him crying at first. After checking him over, he said that only his tongue hurt (from where his teeth bit it) and he was off with the birthday boy to play video games for awhile. Mistah didn't help matters by laughing at me (in private) saying that I looked like a crash test dummy from behind and proceeded to demonstrate the slow motion version of our motor vehicle accident....bastid. Anyway, we went back out for round two and BBA#2 stated emphatically that he no longer wanted to ride with me but Mistah. LOL Hey, I can't blame him. I gave BBA#2 some kids med's and checked him over the next morning to make sure he was still ok. Luckily, he said only his tongue still hurt. Unluckily for me, I was sore as hell!!!! *growls* Thank goodness I have a back supply of prescribed medication to help with things of this nature. :D

After the birthday shenanigans, I took them to a few places in Little Rock the next day one of which was my place of employment. We had 'the best behavior talk' prior to going in. I swear it was like talking to deaf children because nothing I said took. They lived up to their name and showed their complete and total Billy Bad Asses!!!! After hightailing it out of there with my tail between my legs, we had another talk in the car about what was going to transpire once we arrived back home. Yep, that's right! I had to beat some Billy Bad Ass! As with all kids I imagine, they thought I had forgotten as they were asking about watching cartoons and slip and sliding again.

I made them sit in the reflection corner (thanks Super Nanny), gave them another talk (I still don't think it sunk in), made their dinner, gave baths and put.them.to.bed!

Friday was their last full day and it was extremely low key. So low key, that I can't even remember what we did other than taking them next door to visit with my (elderly) neighbors cleaning up and watching Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakquel. *sigh*

And then they were gone. We left around 9'ish Saturday morning to take them back to Memphis to reunite with their parents and little brother (who is oh so cute and juicy for an eight month old). He looks a lot like BBA#3 only darker (more like my complexion for those of you that know what I look like). My sister suggested that since the baby will be older next year that she send all three of them down next year. Ya'll know I'm never one to shy away at laughing at a hilarious moment so I proceeded to cackle in her face and call her crazy. She shouldn't even let that thought cross her mind again until that child is closer to three or four years of age.

While I do miss them, I am quite happy to have my life back to normal. No more cartoons, no more Fruit Loops, no more kids!!! YAY!!!!!!!

YouTube Foolishness: Bump and Grind Edition

I sure hope these kids haven't heard us bumping uglies.