Furbaby down Code 10 Situation!

Look at my baby Cochise. Doesn't he look pitiful? Really he was just sleepy and probably pissed because I woke him up to take a picture with the craptastic camera on my phone last night. I wanted to get some pics of him prior to the surgery he had this morning. No worries, he's fine. He had to get some work done on his nether regions that was affecting him. Anal sac ruptures on dogs are not fun (or cheap) and that's all I have to say about that.

My baby LOVES the vet and all his staff (and they him) so much so he literally drug me to the door to get in there today. lol Cochise is really a loving dog that has never met a human enemy. Dogs on the other hand? Let's just say I think he can hold his own (and then some) based on previous experiences with some doggy disorderlies we've come across.

Anyway, just as he drug me into the vet's office today he led me to the door this afternoon when I picked him up. I think he's had enough of them for a bit. Too bad he has to go for a follow-up in a couple of weeks. Before we left, I had an interesting convo with one of the vet assistants.

VA: Do ya'll feed him vienna sausages?
In my head, I thought 'what the fuck kind of question is that?'
Me: No, neither of our dogs eat table food. (Now that I think about it that's a lie. We do feed them fruit sometimes)Why do you ask?
VA: Well, he's had gas all afternoon and that's what it kinda smelled like.
Me: Bwahahahahahahahaha Honey, welcome to our world. When it's bad, it's real bad.

Bless her heart.

Anyway, here's the gentle giant today back at home after surgery.

You'll notice his little bandage from the IV on his front right leg. He was and is still a little groggy from the anesthesia used this morning. He cried for his pappy like a sissy until he came home. Now? He's all up under him like the daddy's boy he is. I wish I would have recorded it so ya'll could have heard his punk ass. He sounded a pure-d mess! lol Poor baby.

I'm just glad he made it through safe and sound. Having had a dog die on the operating table before always makes it nerve wrecking for me anytime that they have to have procedures done.

Not to be outdone, Emma demanded a photo op all her own even though you see she's all up and through the one with Cochise above. Since she did not ask, here's a pic of her (ironically enough at the vet's office) after being told she needs to go on a diet. No pet snuggies for you little girl. Mama's buying you the DVD set of Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies for Christmas.

YouTube Foolishness: 3rd Ward Edition

I have seen this video before of the Notorious B.U.M. but it always sends me into fit of giggles. And is it just me or does it look like one of his teeth fly out of his mouth at the 10 second mark? I think he does about 3 songs but I only make it through the first one.

I throw my money on the flo'!

YouTube Foolishness: SYTYCD Edition

I have been waiting for this clip of the So You Think You Can Dance Atlanta auditions to make it's way to youtube since I saw this last night. I fell the hell O-U-T when I saw this dude. No really, I fell out on my bed in a fit of laughter. Just like this |||||||||||||//////////////_____________

Fast forward to about the 1:40 minute mark. You will NOT be disappointed....and you might just get up to do a little 'p' popping yourself.

HYDRAULICS!!

Not much of this, not much of that

• I had a plethora of random stuff on my brain this morning. Now? I couldn’t tell you any of what I had to post about to save my life.

• That’s the story of my life. You’d think I have ‘mom brain’ the way I forget shit.

• I’m sitting at my desk tapping my fingers on the keyboard. This is sad yo!

• I’ll try this again later.

• Wait, I just remembered something.

• Watch Oprah tomorrow. The place that issues my paycheck will be featured on the show.

• Wait, something else. I just received an email from Tarjay telling me that my boots have been shipped! Hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! I love that place!!

• After this, I'm done shopping for myself for awhile unless I see a sale on a good bra. You never can have too many of those!!

• And I’m gone!

Update...

....I just got the call. I didn't get the job. Bummer. :( Now I have to stay with Cruella DePhuckin' crazy just a little while longer until I'm able to find something else.

Onto plan b.................

Update on the update (text to Z)

Me: I didn't get the job
Z: I'm sorry baby.
Me: Yeah me too
Z: Well the positive thing is you are still employed.
Me: True
Z: And the post office is always hiring.
Me: I hope you choke on a chicken bone tonight. Love U!
Z: Lol, love u 2!

Scene on Scene

Here's a list of the crazy fragglenackle mess I saw @ Wal-Ma.rt while shopping today.

• A kid in the 10-11 year age range walking around with his shoes on the wrong feet. I was standing in the customer service line returning something when I saw him (and no he wasn't the least bit slow).
  
• The handi-cart mafia including a somewhat middle-aged couple, two old white haired ladies, and man that almost smashed me in between his cart and mine. It seemed like every aisle we turned on, there they were one behind another. It was the most annoying and hilarious sight.
• A lady with four kids: two in the big part of the shopping cart, one in the seat thingy (where the handle is) and one in her belly. I think my fallopian tubes and uterine walls just about dried the hell up seeing her.
• And the piece de resistance, a man in coochie cutters. Think Lt. Tom Dangle on Reno 911>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
  

I'm going to start taking my camera with me.

Interview.............

...............job interview to be exact. I have one of those today in a couple of hours. I hate the wait and the actual interview process but I want this job SO bad. One because I'd get to travel overseas periodically (to Africa specifically) and two my current boss is about to drive me phuggin nuts!!!!! She seriously is not mentally equipped to manage people but that's a different story for a different day. I've prepped as much as possible but they always manage to ask me a couple of things I have no freakin' clue about. Here's hoping I can wing it.

So ya'll know I'm going to ask right? Tell me about your views on interviews. Do you like them/hate them? How do you prep (if at all)? Too bad my interview panel is an all women one, otherwise I may have tried something like that over there...just kidding...not really.

UPDATE: I'M DONE!!!! Now I can look forward to a (somewhat) relaxing remainder of the day with 'Glee' and 'Grey's Anatomy' tonight. I sure hope they don't come on at the same time.

Where the wild things are...................

Tell me why this thing decided to come out of the wood work directly AFTER mistah left for work???!!!

It's not the clearest picture but basically this, my dear people, is a fly on crack! This thing was HUGE!

Picture it, the morning of September 21, 2009. I'm walking around the house getting ready for work (but ass nekkid no less) and hear this buzzing sound. I duck (natural reaction) and listen. Soon enough I see it flying around and watch as it lands on the ceiling light fixture in the kitchen. I break out into my normal hoot and holler dance, run into the bedroom, slam the door, grab my robe and a pair of tennis shoes out of the closet. What?! I needed something on my feet that covered my toes that I could stomp (and kick) properly with.

Once 'clothed', I crept out of the bedroom into the kitchen and made sure it was still on the light. It was. YAY! I ran to laundry area where we keep the (bug) spray and then grabbed the broom. Shut up. Then................I sprayed with all my might. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That sap sucker went CARAZY and flew everywhere. I'm screamin' and swingin', screamin' and swingin', AND screamin' and swingin'. It finally landed somewhere over by the kitchen window. I couldn't see exactly where because it was hiding behind a decorative bird cage thingamajig on the counter. I spray randomly and it goes flying around again. Screamin' and swingin' ensues. It lands on the other side of the kitchen and I spray again. It comes out, flies over under the stove, and I go in for the kill.


After inhaling the continuous fumes, it could finally take no more and crumbled in defeat to its death. Looks like another spray TKO!

If.........

...............a picture is worth a 1000 words, what is a picture of words worth?

I stopped by Sally's to pick up a few hair products and passed this sign on the way to checkout. I almost didn't take a picture, then I thought better of it and whipped out my trusty phone.

You would think they wouldn't have to put up a sign like this. Common sense,it just ain't that common..........apparently neither is book sense.

YouTube Foolishness: 9th Ward Edition

At least they are learning I suppose........

GLEE........

...............are you watching?

I am and am slowly falling in love with this show. Here's a 'video' of the Acafella's (an all male singing group comprised of teachers at the high school) performance last night. It's pretty craptastic (just sound and a still image) but it gives you an idea of what their working with.....the right mix of corniness and soul. lol

More to Love

So apparently I became a fan of this show without even realizing it. This surprised even me since I usually go for more of the sillier versions of reality dating shows (ie, Flava of Love, I Love NY, etc) although I haven't really tuned in to watch any of those types of shows lately. If you aren't familiar with this show, it's basically The Bachelor with folks that have well, more to love.

I tuned in every week (well not really but whose counting) to see which girl (or two or four) Luke would give the boot to. What?! Let's face it, that's the most exciting part and if you say it's not you're lying to yourself. I never really had a favorite during this process but always found that one lady stood out a little more (read: had the most common sense)than the rest. It is also my humble opinion that she was the most beautiful of the women in the competition.

So tonight was the finale with the remaining two contestants, Tali and Melissa. In the pic above, Tali (3rd from the left on the first row with the long dark hair) is Jewish with a good head on her shoulders. Melissa,the devil in the blue dress (the blond 2nd from the right), is Christian and a little flighty IMO. And she wasn't really devilish, I just could resist. So the ladies meet the fam and it's obvious that the difference in religion with Tali (she's from Israel and Jewish) was a concern for his folks who are 'devout' Christians (which really means they probably only go to church on Easter and Christmas but I digress). After the meet the family trip, surprise visit from his mom and an unnecessary additional 30 minutes for him to contemplate his decision they finally got to the end.

Sidenote: To those that watch, were you at all annoyed at how they zoomed in on that damn pizza at the pool hall when Luke and Melissa were on their date? They would have never tried that if weight was not a factor. I'm just sayin......

Tali won and Luke proposed. Three cheers for the happy couple. Now, let's just see how long this loving union lasts after the promo tour, Hanukkah and Christmas.

Reality love...ain't it grand?

Me either!

That's what I said when I viewed this secret on PostSecret (one of my most favoritist blogs!) If you're not in the know about it, it's over there >>>>>>>>>>>>> in my newly updated blogroll.


With the lotto FINALLY coming to AR at the end of this month (can I get an Amen?!), I'm one step closer to my plan of financial freedom. I've got my bills crisp and ready to hand over to any random gas station attendant so when they ask, where dem dollas at?, I can say RIGHT HERE!

One thing I've always said is if, NO WHEN (I must speak it into existence) I win I will request to remain anonymous. No need to have long lost cousins coming of the woodwork. Ya'll see how my g-aunts did their own sister so just imagine what their offspring would do. VICIOUS! Once the money is deposited into my bank account, I will chunk the deuces to my place of employment and make my way to my couch EXPEDITIOUSLY so that I can figure out the next move. I figure I'll set the kids in the family up nicely for college and what not, buy my mom a place outside of Memphis, give my sisters a lil' coin change to spend at the mall and of hook mistah up real nice.

What about you all? Would you want the world to know 'I'm rech beyatch!!' or would you keep it under wraps? What major purchases would you make? Would you give any to the fam?

For some strange reason, I'm getting the vibe that I've done a post similar to this before. Stranger things have happened so just humor me, k? Thanks.

Family Reunion and Roots........................

The reunion was pretty much everything I expected it to be. I got a chance to meet and reconnect with my extended family and recalled a few faces from my childhood. I still don't know them but at this point I at least know we are related so if I see them in the street I can speak. lol While there, most of the folks in charge of this reunion had an impromptu meeting to discuss when the next reunion would take place (next year or the year after). It was decided to have it in 2010 since the matriarch (and oldest living member) of our family is up there in age (about 95 or 96). It was even suggested to have something with her prior to next summer as my (2nd or 3rd) cousin so eloquently stated, when you get that old a year is equivalent to 5. LMAO I got my bluntness honestly. The gathering was actually supposed to be in her honor but her child that cares for her was unable to make it so the show went on just without her.

You may (or may not) be wondering why I haven't laid eyes on these folks in years. Let me lay a bit of foundation just so you'll know what's what. My great grandparents had a total of 10 kids, one boy (who died as a baby) and 9 girls that followed. My grandmother was the 3rd, no wait 4th born. She had only one child, my father, who passed away when my mom was carrying me. Got it? Cool. So, when she passed away her WILL stated that most everything went to the kids and some other things went to her sisters. Makes good sense right? Yeah to me too. Anyway, her sisters decided that what they did get was not enough so these batty heifers took us to court. Yeah you read that right....TO COURT.

Ain't that some shit for your ass?

I really don't know why they felt the need to go to such extremes especially since my grannie was not wealthy AT.ALL. Never mind yes I do, can you say GREED?? Now that I that I think about it, I recall them saying that they felt like they weren't appropriately compensated for all the help they provided to my grandmother during her illness (she had breast cancer).

Again I say, ain't that some shit for your ass???

I didn't realize that compensation was expected when you voluntarily helped one during an illness and on their deathbed. Especially when it's your own flesh and blood. Anyway, I can't recall all the details of the verdict but I do remember having to auction her house, the items in it and having to split the earnings with them. She had a lot of antique stuff too that would have gotten good money in this day and age. With the exception of my oldest sister, we were still school age. My mom was so outdone by the entire ordeal she just said fugg it and rolled with the (gut) punches. As you can imagine, our contact with them going forward was few and far in between....hence why I haven't seen them in forever in a day. My mom still kept in contact with them (primarily the remaining sister because she lived in the same town as us) but me for the most part.......ehhhhhhhhh no.

Now I figure that was the past, this is now and even if I never go to another reunion I still made an effort. Tell me why I just realized that we didn't get a t-shirt??!! WTH!!

YouTube Foolishness: AARP Edition

Death To Smoochy....................

This is what I discovered a little while ago while attempting to retrieve the mail. After screaming like a damn fool, a picture was taken, a foot race occurred, and a text was sent to Z with the following message:

There is a big ass dead lizard HANGING on the mailbox right underneath where the mail goes. The mail has been delivered but you will want to check it when you get home 'cause I ain't touchin that shit!!!

And I mean it. I ain't going back out there until that thing falls off or until someone makes a way for it to fall off. On a different note, is that not a messed up way to go out?! Blech!

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

My b-day weekend was fun!

Hung out with the girls Saturday… No one remembered to bring a camera. Oh well

The jury is still out on me and sushi. One kind I liked and the other was just well….nasty.

Ladynay, they didn’t have the brown rice sushi roll you recommended. :(

I’ll probably give it another go sometime in the (distant) future.

We then went down to another spot so we could, as my friend put it ‘really eat’. LMAO

FYI for anyone in the central AR area. The caribbean jerk and whiskey honey wings at Big Whiskey’s in the River Market are soooooooooooooooooo good!!!!

I got lots of calls on my b-day, cards, and cash (the people that love me really know my heart).

I got a new laptop for my b-day compliments of me and Z! He went half on an e-baby with me…awwwwwwwwwwwwww!

I didn’t get my cupcakes….boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

I did however get an all chocolate cake…yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!! We didn't eat it all. I brought the rest to work so these leeches could take care of that.

He said he couldn’t find any specifically how I requested. All chocolate (icing and all).

Translation: he waited until the last damn minute to try and get some.

We went out to eat and came home to chill out for the rest of the day.

Family reunion (on my dad’s side) is this weekend.

I haven’t seen most of these people in years (haven't met some of them at all) and honestly wouldn’t know them if I did.

I have vague memories of the last reunion I went to when I was about 6 or 7. It was in the country in MS somewhere. I think I had fun. Lol I was little so I’m sure I probably did.

I really don’t have any expectation other than getting to know the other side of my family a bit better. The only people we truly associated with are all dead now with the exception of my grandmother’s remaining living sister who now lives in TX with her kids.

I need to make sure I have something to sit under during the picnic. Side effect of lupus = little or no sunlight exposure. I feel like a vampire. They should cast me on ‘True Blood’.

I bet my mama is going to try and get me to take her down to the casino. I just may take her up on it. I’ll take my winnings in cash, no check please and thank you!

I’m sure I’ll be ready to go after a couple of hours. That’s about how long it usually takes my attention and $20 I take to dwindle down. WHAT? I am not going to hand over my all my hard earned money all willy nilly to those folks! If I win $50, I’m doing it big!!

I took yesterday and Friday off this week. 3 day work week beeshes!!!!

If only they could all be like that.

I made chicken alfredo last night and threw in some homemade pico de gallo that was gifted. OMG, it was soooooooooooo good!!!

I think I may just have to swallow my words and get a FB account. I KNOW!! Shocker!!! I do believe my mama has one and that just ain’t kosher to have her out doing me! I’ll let ya’ll know if I decide to take a walk on the wild side.

I still can't believe iniquitous 1 (aka Nikki Indigo) has passed away. Thoughts of her and her work have lingered on my mind since reading the news. I was mainly a lurker on her blog but the power of her words always left an impression with me.

Ok, this post has suddenly become too damn long. What the hell is going on with ya’ll?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

It's that time of year again folks....birthday time. It's not actually until 8/30 but I'm not guaranteed to feel like posting this then so ummmmm yeah........... The year between 31 and 32 flew by might fast! Oh who am I kidding, time has been passing me by since I graduated high school ('95 represent!). Thanks to my trusty sidekick lupus, this year has been the most kick ass and (mentally) challengingI've had in quite some time. I'm sure I'll have more to come but right now I'm just really thankful to have made it this far.

Still no definite plans for anything major but I will be going to dine on sushi (I'm a sirgin (sushi virgin)) and party with friends tomorrow. From what I've been told about the restaurant we are going to, I should definitely try the playboy roll, volcano, super white tuna, and yellowtail. What do you suggest? I'm also thinking about going to see Alex Ortiz, a comedian. Does anyone know anything about him? As in, is he funny? I'm not about wasting money....even if it is just $9! lol No tickets have been purchased so we'll see. Sunday it's all about me and my mane squeeze! I have been feening for cupcakes ever since I perused Barista's blog. Z has been informed of this and knows what he needs to do to satisfy my craving.

Anyhoo, that's all folks. Make it a great weekend. FYI....I accept all well wishes, gifts, cards, (paper or electronic), and payments via paypal.

By Jove, I think I've got it!!!

I think I FINALLY figured out why Sheree' (aka 'Who 'gone check me boo?!') on Real Housewives of ATL makes my stomach lurch.

She looks and acts like a younger, more melanin rich version of my boss! Her face, mannerisms, the whole package well minus the face wart but still..............

BLECH!

What Breakfast looks like...............

....well kind of. This is the end result of a tupperware container FULL of watermelon. I want another one!

Here's the thing...............

.................I've got lupus.

The facts:

• was just diagnosed two weeks ago
• it's incurable and genetic. My big sis reminded me that my paternal grandmother had it. I was only 11 when she passed away so I really don't remember much.
  
• my beautician found a spot on my scalp a few months back
• I tried OTC (over the counter) stuff but it didn't work
• Went to see a dermatologist
  
• He performed a biopsy. Translation, he cut the 'spot' out of my scalp so that it could be tested leaving me with a mini-crater in mah head!!
  
• It didn't really hurt but I felt him cutting. It's healing nicely. :)
• He thought it might be discoid lupus but based on the results of the biopsy and blood work it turned out to be systemic which is the really sucky kind.
• Here's a good explanation of all the types if you're interested.
  
• Went to see a rhuematologist (sp?)
  
• He did more blood work and had me do some weird 'exercises'.
• I have no symptoms other than this thing in mah head. Back up....I do have another alopecia type spot in my scalp but you can't see it.
• After visiting the Rhue and my PCP, it has been determined that (1) I am doing extremely well ...............so far and (2) it is not uncommon for one to have lupus and not have many of the common symptoms associated with it.
  
• No meds for me right now...only an emergency prescription for steroids should I experience a flare up.
• I challenged that method to both doc's but apparently the drugs most folks take while their lupus is active is not something you want to take while it's inactive (which mine is). According to them, the side effects could do more damage especially if nothing is happening...confusing right. Yeah for me too.
  
• Anyhow, my state could very well change at any minute.....here's hoping it stays this way
• Z has been AMAZING...I couldn't ask for a better support system during this time
• I still haven't told my mom. I was going to while she was here with the kids but I thought better of it. She was beat and I figured it would be better to wait when I go up to Memphis for the reunion so we can have some QUIET one on one time (hopefully).
• I haven't told my other sister either. I was thinking I could also just sit them all down together to have a big pow wow. As you can see I have not thought through the details all that well. :)
  

So that's the quick and clean version of my life for the past few months. I'm sure you all have noticed that I really don't get too deep and bogged down with 'heavy' (and personal) stuff on here. Posting this was actually a big step for me. I like to keep it light and upbeat and it will stay that way just maybe with an added update or two here and there about my status.

In better news, I bought these today from Target. They have them in black in the store and teal and gray online if you're interested.

Music in mah head........

I've got a reunion coming up in a few weeks in Memphis. I guess you can say I'm getting myself pumped up. lol

I miss the days when these songs first came out...*le sigh*






Bonus track just for S&G's (and because I haven't heard this song in soooooooo long!)

Raising Cane

Authorities: Wife whacked husband with frying pan
click to read story

(Thanks Goli *wink*)

A little bit of this, a little bit of that......

The fam is gone...finally! lol I love 'em like a fat kids love cake but I'd be lying if I said they didn't work my nerves.

I love peace and QUIET!!

4 year olds that throw temper tantrums are not cute.

5 year olds with smart ass mouths are even less cute.

He almost got thrown off the roof.

5 year olds can cuss too. Who knew? Probably his mama and daddy. lol

What the hell??? Those were his exact words by the way.

When I questioned what he said his response = Ummmmmmmmmmmm, oooops.

Auntie AR Gal will test that butt if you get out of line. This time I only administered a strong side eye and a good tongue lashing.

I need to ask his mama if she knows he's got a potty mouth. lol

My mother still drives me nuts!

I think it drives her crazy that she can't tell me what to do anymore.

She still drops hints though. lol

We did actually have fun while they were here. The boys LOVED riding go carts, this place called JumpZone (it's basically a warehouse with those huge inflatable things that kids can jump around in/slide down, etc), and the dogs.

Speaking of inflatable stuff. I found this this while surfing. Those damn others come up with some of the most peculiar stuff sometimes. lol

I wish I had another 2 day work week this week.

Oh well, I've got a few long weekends coming my way shortly.

My b-day is at the end of this month. I have no idea what I'm doing. There's usually some event like a concert or comedy show (since my b-day is so close to Labor day)but this year...nada. Booooooooooooooooo

Now I/we am rethinking moving. I came upon an area this weekend web surfing in North Little Rock that I never knew existed that would actually be great for us. The homes and neighborhood are comparable to where we are now and the commute would be much shorter of course. Now if I could just find a house......*puts on thinking cap*

I entered a contest to win tickets to the Cowboys-v-Titans game this Friday. It's the first game for the Cowboys in their new stadium. Now I am by no means a sports fan (at all) but my honey LOOOOOOOOOVES the Titans so I figured why not if we can score some tickets and make a weekend out of it.

Didn't win...boo.

I guess we're going to try to go to Nashville for a game this season. That would actually be great. I'd get to see my bestie!

Telling your wife/SO/lady friend/etc that she is irresistible is a sure fire panty dropper....well for me anyway.

I finally found the perfect pair of black shades today at Kohl's. I had been searching eh-ver-ree-where and couldn't seem to find a pair that fit my style. I'm not a big fan of CZ's in shades (well at least not the amount that I seemed to find at the places I looked at) or too much of a gold or silver accent. They are plain black with big & round lenses. Now I can finally throw the old ones I've had with the severely cracked lens away. lol

Z and I went grocery shopping yesterday like we normally do each Sunday. We totally forgot that this was the weekend that freshman arrived in town at my alma mater. OMG!!! There were like a gajillion people in the freakin store!! I was sooooooooo hot and sweaty like I had a fever. So not a good look when you are eye balling produce.

*watching a commercial with Simmons girls* (aka Rev Run's kids) Angela gets a bad rap (as far as looks go) but she is not an ugly girl to me (especially considering she looks just like her papi).

I plan on going to Sephora this week. I want to pick up a few products from the Rx for Brown Skin line.

A DSW just opened in Little Rock. Tell me why it is allllllllllllllllllllll the way on the other end of town(ie in the really really rich folks neighborhood)? lol I'm sure that is not stopping a lot of people though. Have shoes...will travel. I'll get out there eventually I just need to make sure I have lots of time....and all my bills paid prior to entry. lol

I'm about to watch Nurse Jackie...signing off.

Ummmm.......

......so I'm sitting on the couch web surfing while the kids watch *picks up the remote to look at show information* the Wizards of Waverly Palace. I just noticed that only one of the two is watching as the youngest (see kid in the blue shirt in the post below) is talking to himself....or someone else. I think he has an imaginary friend.

*keeps listening....from a distance*

They have arrived......

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers (cause ya'll know I'm not used to all this noise!!) lol

Higher Learning.........

I came across this little diddy by way of one of my online buds (*waves at Goli...I see you watchin me* lol). In case you can't view the vid, it's a clip of the Bebé Glotun by Berjuan (which translates to gluttonous baby (go ahead and laugh)). Basically it's a spanish toy that includes a baby doll and some kind of halter top that teaches little girls how to breastfeed.

I don't have any kids (and have no clue about how it would actually go down if and when I call myself trying to have and raise one) and I'm all for early sex-ed but this.....I don't know. It's left me feeling a bit weirded out. I think the difference (to me anyway) is that having the sex talk is just that...you talk! Or at least that's how I always thought it was supposed to go down. I didn't realize visual aides were a requirement. Then again what do I know?? My mama tried to have the talk when I was 12 and barely got a rise out of me as I had already had my first (french)kiss by the age of 5 (WHAT? I'm a quick study) therefore I thought I already knew everything. Anyway this thing, well let's just say it's more hands on......to say the least.

Watch and see.



Now after watching this, the only thing I could imagine was some little girl out and about with her mom in a shopping cart with her Bebe' Gluton doll and whipping that daggone top out to breastfeed it. LMAO I couldn't even be responsible for my reaction if my eyes were to ever see some shit like that. What do ya'll think? Is it too much, not enough, just right? Would you be comfortable letting your kids or future kids use this (in public or in private)?

YouTube Foolishness: Funeral Edition

SNUGGIE: POOCH EDITION

The kids are next....mark my words.

Sooo, sooooo, soooooo funkdafied

I am currently sitting in a meeting typing this post on my pda. What? I'm multi-tasking! Anyway, I was so compelled to type this because of an issue I have with one of my co-workers. To put it bluntly, his funky ass stanks!!!! And it's not just any old funk either, it's like old wet rag funk.....sour as hell funk........muskrat love funk........just FUNKY!!!

We have a weekly meeting with he and his team for a project in progress and every week it's the same thing........that stench. I purposely sit at the far end of the conference table away him and everyone else so I can have as much distance as I can. The first week my boss invited me to sit closer, I declined. I told her I enjoy the view from the window on this end of the table....which isn't a total fib.

It's funny, the first time I met him I smelled that smell but just assumed (or hoped) it was something in the room. More recently he came by to introduce me to one of his, well I guess our, colleagues overseas. He shook my hand, as did she, and from that time until the next time I went to the restroom that stinch lingered......ON MY HANDS!!!!!!!! It took me about 15 minutes or so to figure out why and almost fell the phuck out when I realized he tried to pass that mess over to me. FAIL!!!!!! I ran to the restroom and let soap and water cleanse my skin for 10 minutes before I was satisfied that I could not smell it anymore.

BLECH....I just caught another whiff.

Needless to say being trappedin a conference room with him each week for an hour and a half is not my preference, it is however required. :-(

Ya know, it must really suck to be that person that people refer to as 'the one with the odor problem'. I've tossed around the idea of taking some soap and deordorant up to his desk (while he's not around of course) with a note that says, 'please use me'. Okay, that's mean but damn.......it's the truth.

Just poppin in.........

My snuggie......

(sung to the tune of 'my dougie)

my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie, my snuggie
she say she like
my snuggie, I'm fresh
YEP!!fly then a mu*fucka

That's right folks, the snuggie is back and it's badder and more colorful than ever! This is not your mama's snuggie either! You can now get a DESIGNER (their word not mine) one in leopard (hurls), zebra (bigger hurl), or the always stylish camel (lol).

GET YOU ONE!

BAM!

Picture it........ July 17, 2009.........lunch hour..........Wendy's drive through window

I should have known something was a bit off about her after placing my order. I heard her make a strange noise after telling me my total but just blew it off since I really wasn't paying much attention. I pulled up to the window to pay for my food and handed her a twenty. She takes it and I hear it again. Hmmmmm, sounds like she's saying ma'am I say to myself. As she hands me my change, I hear it again. I stop fiddling with my phone long enough to absorb what just came out of her mouth. Did this broad just say what I think she said???? Is she really saying BAM after each action???

She hands me my food and sure enough.....BAM!!

I check my order to make sure everything is there and ask for some dipping sauce (I guess she was so busy bam'n everyone she forgot to ask if I needed any).

She hands me the sauce and yep you guessed it.........BAM!!

The shit was so surreal I almost felt like I was in a freakin Billy Mays commercial.

I don't think this is what Michael had in mind...........

Ya'll I swear I don't go looking for this stuff....it just finds me.

I had never even heard of this lovely gem of a show, Operation Repo, until a friend shared it with me. It's a reality show about, you guessed it, people's vehicles being repossessed. I'm in love with it already (now I just need to see if we get this network at home). As I'm on the website looking at show clips I discover one (most appropriately) titled 'Just Beat It'. So I'm watching and suddenly become amused when the car owner appears.

Sidenote: I didn't even know Delorian's (sp???) were real freakin cars. I SO thought it was fictional like KITT in Knight Rider.

Anyway, so I really start taking notice of fake MJ at around the 1:37 minute mark. Then I REALLY take notice when I see his pants suddenly transfrom from a somewhat normal length to highwaters. And then he does it.............*weeps*

Pay close attention to 1:55 and watch what happens. If you're anything like me, you WILL make some type of loud outburst.

UPDATE: For those of you that are youtube challenged at the plantation, try this link Look for 'Just Beat It' to the right of the screen (it should be the 2nd video)

AR Gal PSA: 21st Century Rush Hour

I don't hate rush hour traffic simply because it is "rush hour traffic",
I am annoyed at the number and type of people who now drive in it
Who have no experience driving in it therefore don't know how.
People who drive timidly,
Who do not know that the left hand lane is for passing & fast cars,
Who defy the flow of traffic,
Who get the in way of those of us eager to get the hell home.
Those of us who did not spend a pleasant day at work or frolicking from store to store shopping all day.

I understand rush hour traffic can be scary.
There are a lot of cars on the road
And they are driving with purpose,
And many times, they are driving fast (sometimes way too fast).
I understand that it can be intimidating and interesting all at the same time but please realize that stopping a lane of traffic because you are switching lanes, are looking for a full car length opening, want to see the extent of the wreck damage, watch the state trooper hand someone a ticket, watch the driver of the 18 wheeler inspect his blowout, etc, etc, etc
Is pissing people off - not endearing yourself to the other drivers.
Find an opening and go (this is good advice for a lot of situations in life as well)
Don't wait for a hand delivered, engraved invitation.
You won't get one (but you may get a middle finger. I'm just sayin'.....)

Or better yet, time your travel during non-rush hour traffic.
Around these parts, that's roughly before 3pm and after 6pm.
I really think you will enjoy that drive more during those times.
And I will will enjoy it if you drive during those times too.

YouTube Foolishness: Entrepreneurial Spirit Edition

Not to be confused with Jones Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage, lol.

I am that chick...................

................. that will laugh at you if you just so happen to walk past me and pass gas. Especially if you work with me. It's okay, don't be ashamed.....just laugh with me (and fan your hand).

You Will Never Be Forgotten

YouTube Foolishness: Head Banger Edition

I have the worst urge........

.............to go fishing. This is really strange considering I have not touched a fishing pole since I was a teenager and went with my (former) step-dad back in the early '90s. I really have no idea where this feeling is coming from considering I'm not an outdoors person (other than walking the dogs). Maybe I was a fisherman in my previous life.

I think I may go get some sparklers instead.

YouTube Foolishness: News Anchor Edition

I'll just let this vid do what it do because it really speaks for itself.

There have been so many times..............

................. that I've wanted to do this to people (especially at work).

300th post

It's my 300th post!! YAY! I wanna thank my mama...................

In celebration of this momentous occasion, I've done a meme. Really original I know but hey they say it's the little things right? I grabbed this doozie from some blog I was reading this morning. I have no idea of it's purpose or theme but it had just the right amount of randomness to pull me in. Feel free to take it, use it, and abuse it. Consider this a gift from me to you.

1.) When you walk in your front door, which room do you enter?
It’s not really a room, it’s just space but you do see the den.

2.)Do you have a dishwasher?
Yep and I’ve learned to appreciate it a lot over the past few months.

3.) Is your living room carpeted or does it have hardwood floors?
Carpeted

4.) Do you keep your kitchen knives on the counter or in a drawer?
On the counter and in a drawer

5.) House, apartment, duplex or trailer?
House

6.) How many bedrooms is it?
Three

7.) Gas stove or electric?
It’s electric!

8.) Do you have a yard?
Yep

9.) What size TV is in the living room?
I don’t know but it’s too damn big.

10.) Are your plates in the same cupboard as your cups?
No, they don't get along so we had to separate them.

11.) Is there a coffee maker sitting on your kitchen counter?
We are a coffee free home.

13.) What room is your computer in?
It can be in every room since it’s a laptop. We do have a desktop in the office that I should sell for parts though. Any takers? Email me at yourluckychance@yahoo.com.

14.) Are there pictures hanging in your living room?
Nerp

15.) Are there any themes found in your home?
Nope

16.) What kind of laundry detergent do you use?
Surf

17.) Do you use dryer sheets?
yep.

18.) Do you have any curtains in your home?
yep

19.) What color is your fridge?
Boring white

20.) Is your house clean?
Yep

21.) What room is the most neglected?
The back rooms. We just kind do enough to keep them decent until company comes.

22.) Are the dishes in your sink/dishwasher clean or dirty?
Clean

23.) How long have you lived in your home?
Ummmmm, about four years

24.) Where did you live before?
same town, different place

25.) Do you have one of those fluffy toilet lid covers on your toilet?
Just on one. Lol

26.) Do you have a scale anywhere in your house?
Hell no. They are banned.

27.) How many mirrors are in your house?
This requires some thought………….four.

28.) Look up. What do you see?
How far up? This question is stupid.

29.) Do you have a garage?
Yep

And now ….. a little youtube foolishness. I don’t know why but this tickled me.

Afternoon at the Movies: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

So, remember yesterday (well now it's the day before yesterday because I didn't finish this post last night when I was supposed to) when I blogged about being concerned about our arrival time to the theater? And how we left because we didn't want to risk getting sucky seats? Let's just say, if we would have known that the first 40-45 minutes were close to craptastic, we may have gone on in. lol It wasn't all bad but damn a lot of the mess was excessive and unnecessary. Even the parents, who were hilarious to me in the first one, went overboard. I think the characters and how they were portrayed were so well accepted in the first movie, the higher ups decided to amp it up. It was overkill. Truth be told, I almost took a cat nap but I held out and they finally started to bring the action. The action sequences got to be really busy at times but I did still enjoy watching.

Freaky, I agree that the twins were annoying as hell. I really didn't care for them at all or the fact that they (the "black" autobots) talked ghetto. They did that with the one Ving Rhames voiced in the first one too. I see how it is Hollywood....or how it's always been. *RME* I also wish they would have encorporated the motorcycle bots into the storyline more. I liked their potential but really didn't get a chance to experience much of it. I also liked the inclusion of the elderly Decepticon (he and that cane had me rollin) and Agent Simmons again. The character he played helped make the first Transformers IMO.

All and all, the 2nd round was not what I was expecting. It had some pluses and minuses. Would I recommend you go see it? I won't say no but I won't tell you to go rush out and see it either.

AR Gal rates this: B-

EPIC FAIL

Last matinee showing time for Transformers: 4:45 pm

Needed to leave the house no later than 4:15 to have enough time to drive over, get popcorn/drinks and find good seats

Departure time: 4:30 (CP time reigns surpreme)

Arrival time: 4:40

The parking lot was FULL, I wanted my snacks and I knew I'd be pissed if I didn't get a good seat.

Decision to try again tomorrow: 2 seconds.

We didn't even get out of the car. Instead, we just drove around town for a bit, rented a movie and came back home. We will try for one of the matinees again tomorrow. lol Some of you may be asking, why not just try a night showing. We rarely go at night to the movies. Both theaters in this town are raggedy as hell and I really have issues with paying over $5-5.50 to watch films there. Maybe once they build the new one they've been talking about FOREVER I'll reconsider.

OMG....OMG....OMG....

Michael Jackson is DEAD!!!! I am in complete and utter shock right now.

Updated

Okay, I've stopped crying long enough to post THE BADDEST video ever made in remembrance of a legend lost

Michael Jackson - Remember The Time
Uploaded by hushhush112. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

I never could get that damn dance down.

Z says I'm wrong and this was THE BEST AND BADDEST video ever made



Either way the man was le-gen-da-ry......and he will be missed.

YouTube Foolishness: Sanctuary Edition

I.just.can't.

Why They Crying?

Please excuse the poor grammar of the title but that's what always goes through my head when stuff like this happens. Better yet, excuse the use of poor grammar of any post at anytime during the past, present, or future.

Of course you all know about the job layoffs (I know, way to keep beating a dead horse right?). With that comes A LOT of emotions, I understand that. What I don't understand is what people who are being reassigned to different positions within the company are crying for. We had this little mini-welcome/send-off thing with a few people in our department for folks that were coming, going, or being reassigned. After it we wrapped up, a few of us (that were trying to avoid work) were standing around chatting. So we're talking (laughing as a matter of fact) then all of a sudden the AA on our team starts crying. I just looked. So someone asked her what was wrong and she said she was just sad about going to a different floor, she's gonna miss us...blah blah blah. I just kept looking. I just really couldn't muster up any emotion other than wanting to laugh (don't worry I didn't). Sue me. My thing is, hey you still have a job. It may not be what you want but at least you have the security of continuous income and benefits until you find something else (if you choose to find something else). The folks that got the boot can't say the same. She's not the only person that does it though. Another lady came over to my desk and told me about her reassignment and started to cry. I politely told her to get away from my desk until she composed herself because I wasn't about to watch her cry about not losing a job. Hey, I'm nothing if not honest.

A few of my friends told me I'm mean. Whatever, she needed to hear it hell. Z told me he agrees and that's why me love him long time. It's not that I'm heartless and I can certainly understand their disappointment (because I've had it happen to me before (layoffs and internal reassignments due to cutbacks), I just don't get the waterworks. Maybe RehDog can help me understand why they must cry.

I think it's safe to say I'm hooked................

..............at least for now.

In an effort to expand my reality tv viewing (as if I needed yet another show to watch), I have been become somewhat addicted to House Hunters on HGTV (in addition to My First Place, lol). I love watching as the families view the housing options and trying to guess which home out of the 3 shown that they will pick. I also like to seeing the difference in the type of home you get for the same amount of money in different areas. Sometimes the difference is vast.

Take for instance the episode I watched today. A lady was looking to purchase her first home and ended up finding a bank owned property that came in at around $150k (it was about $50k less than all other places she had been looking at). The thing that got me is that these were all condo/apartment-ish type places that had less than 900 sq. ft. The apartment I had before we moved into this place had that much room and rent was only $450/mth. Anyhoo, that got me to thinking about how much bang for the buck you could get in this area for the same $150k pricetag. You could get a super nice 3 (maybe 4) newer bedroom home with a bit more than double the square footage for that price. Living in Arkansas does sometimes have it's perks I suppose. :)

Now back to the show, one thing I do notice that I absolutely cannot stand is the random dumb comments people make. For example, they are looking around the house and step into a bedroom that's painted purple with flowers also painted on the wall....obviously a little girl's room. Or say they walk into the den/living room/great room and there is wallpaper. It just really slays me that they choose to fuss about something that could easily changed with an invention called ummmmm PAINT! lol It never fails. Now granted sometimes their complaints are warranted but I would think that when you are looking to purchase are home it's just expected that there will be things that you will need and/or want to change to fit your taste and lifestyle.

Even with that slight annoyance, I still thoroughly enjoy watching. I think this is due to the fact that I'm getting a bad itch to purchase my first home. Now that I know my job is intact (for now anyway), it is really something I'm seriously considering. Only time will tell. :)

Now, I'm off to watch The Fashion Show.

I guessed I should have checked my page more often......

MySpace lays off hundreds

The social networking thing is cool and I totally get the point of it but honestly it bores me. I only check my myspace account about once/month. Yeah I know...what's the point in having it then? At this point I don't have any idea. lol I started my page around the end of 2007. If they would have paid me a $1 for every time I checked it back then, I'd be rich bitch (toots the horn).....well at least well off. lol The novelty of it all wore off on me fairly quickly. I remember one of my friends asking me (probably a year after I created my account) why hadn't I responded to their myspace message. My response: Don't you have my phone number? lol I'm such a smart ass.

Now I do have one for Ning only because my sister set up a page for us for our family reunion this summer. Ask me the last time I was on it? When ARGal you ask? When I set up the account. lol

I've gotten several requests via email for me to setup a facebook account/page/whatever. Now I've been told it's totally different from myspace...much better, yada yada yada. I have no doubt they are correct. Who knows, maybe I will be persuaded enough to start one eventually but for now......no dice. And don't even ask me about twitter.....ain't.gonna.happen. lol

Maybe I should go check my myspace page now to help save a job.

FIGHT, FIGHT!!!

If you can't sit still and watch the entire thing, make sure you fast foward to ohhhhh about minute mark 4:12 to see the lady wearing the yellow shirt. Be sure you pay special attention to her hairline.

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/video?id=6858547

Sorry about the link. The embed thing wouldn't work.

Either your in or your out...............................

This week has been a rough one work wise. Layoffs started this past Monday. We've known about them since around ohhhhhhhhhhhh March sometime. I know classy huh? We just didn't know who would be affected. Now that it's all coming out in the wash, it ain't purty. Having to wait has kinda been like a slow work death of sorts. Even though we really weren't supposed to find out that early (gotta love people who leave classified information lying around on printers, lol), the wait has been both a good and bad thing. Good because it at least gave people time to start the job search; bad because is morale has been low.

This week I've seen crying people, pissed people, depressed lookin people, trying to keep an upbeat attitude people, still trying to work through the storm people, I don't give a phuck people, it is what it is people....you get the drift. I fall in the last description. As far as me....so far so good. There's still tomorrow and Friday though so who knows. Our Admin. Asst. came to me a few weeks ago and told me (even though she wasn't supposed to) that her position had been eliminated but that she was offered another position in the company. A lady that works a couple of desks back from me eluded to the same thing today and started to cry. I consoled her but told her to dry her eyes because at the end of the day YOU still have a check coming in and for that you should be happy. You don't have to worry about what the future holds for you, the rest of us can't say the same right now.

My boss has been one of those still trying to work through the storm people. She's a special (ed) chick to put it mildly. As much as she irks my last nerve somedays, I think working with her in this position has (potentially) saved me from the cut.....this time. My spidey senses tell me this is not the last of this though.............

What I'll be watching tomorrow night.......

then this

with a dash of this Monday night


Bridezillas can't get here soon enough. Get a load of this stupid ass trollop (edited) flip out over what looks like a Sam's Club sheetcake. I can't wait!! lol



I've been addicted to Army Wives since the show first came a couple of years back. The only thing I hate is that you have to wait so long between seasons because they only show it during the summer months. Bummer. Like many of the other shows I like(d) that also have large gaps in between seasons, (Big Love, The Wire (RIP...that show should STILL be on the air, United States of Tara, The L Word (RIP), The #1 Ladies Detective Agency), it is SO worth the wait.

I'm pretty excited (obviously) about the new show Nurse Jackie. The previews looked interesting, to say the least, and Edie Falco is a good actress so I'm pretty sure it will not disappoint. I'm just happy that some really good tv is coming my way. While I am a reality show tv fiend (as evidenced by Bridezillas, lol) it's always nice to have shows in the mix that involve an actual plot and excellent acting.

What shows are you looking forward to this summer?

Riddle Me This...............

I usually see this ad several times during the day on the web and the same question always pops in my head. Why should I be compelled to purchase this product when the end result is showcased inside a set of charbroiled lips? I can't focus on the whiteness of it all because of those things.


For the record (and for my own sanity), I have chosen to overlook the white/butter popcorn tooth color comparison.

Jon and Kate plus her haircut

I don't care one way or another about the fiasco that is Jon and Kate but I saw a lady at Wal-Mart today with that dreadful Kate haircut and just about hollered. Sorry I didn't have time to whip out the trusty camera phone. She was gone before I could even think about taking it out of my pocket. Damn power shoppers!! *growls* Anyway, me thinks this is well on its way to becoming the 21st century version of the Rachel hairdo that was deemed popular for the (white) ladies back in the mid-nineties. I saw this clip online just a few moments ago......it's the cherry on top of a good laugh.

Jon & Kate ...Plus my Hate
Uploaded by fluffybunnykins666 - Videos of family and friends from around the world.

4 calls and 1 voicemail message................

..................is a pretty good indication that someone really needs to talk with about something important. Well that is unless you're my sister and you do all of the above to just say what's up.

One of my friends (Trisha) put in the work trying to get in touch with me this evening to tell me about another of our friends (Laci). Laci, Trisha, and I (just for the record these names have been made up to protect the innocent and ig'nant) met during college. Trisha and I met my very first day and I met Laci either the same day or the next. We were tighter than panty hose two sizes small during our time in college and developed our own little clique. During our time in school we had some F-U-N! Fast forward to about 1998 and Laci drops out of college. Trisha did too eventually but I wasn't sure if it was at the same time but that's neither here nor there. Laci moves back to her hometown and gets married to her high school sweetheart. Soon after they one have kid then another and then get divorced a few years after that. Laci moves back to central AR, becomes an LPN and is doing well for herself as a now single mom. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately depending on how you look at) Laci liked to indulge in the comforts of Mary Jane quite often, got randomly drugged tested and lost her job AND her nursing license. Can you say BUMMER?! Not too much longer after that Laci meets some random cat,they fall in love quickly, and are inseparable. If I recall correctly this was around 2002/2003.

They end up moving in together, living life, making it work yada yada yada and ended up getting married last year. Everything seemed to be going fine...well except for the fact that he didn't like working the type of job that required you having taxes taken out of your paycheck. You know what that means. Anyway, so random cat gets busted as does Laci at their house during some kind of stakeout.....I know *sigh* Laci gets off on probation but random cat has to do some time as he had a prior record. She seemed to be doing farely well when I would talk with her. I think her side-piece that she met about a month after helped with that......I know *sighs again*

Normally Laci would send text messages like crazy, you know those retarded ones people forward (and that I canNOT stand!!). Trisha and I noticed that we hadn't been receiving texts from Laci at all. I asked Trisha if she had spoken with her lately and she said no. Hmmmmmm I thought, somethings wrong. Trisha agreed especially seeing as she had received calls from Laci's landlord and the furniture rental place asking her whereabouts (she didn't even know that she had given them her name and number as a reference. Don't you just hate that?) I asked Trisha if she had spoken with Laci's mom (they usually stay in pretty good contact since Laci and Trisha are from the same hometown) and she said no but she would reach out to her because like I said.....no text message from Laci (at least once/week) was just strange. Well today I get 4 calls and 1 voicemail message from Trisha. She informs me that something was wrong....Laci been locked up dawg! *exasperated sigh* She gives me the rundown about how it all came to pass. Turns out Laci didn't pass her piss test when she went to her scheduled PO visit. They locked her up for 4 or 5 days for violating the terms of parole and she is now in rehab. She's been there for about 3 weeks now and will remain for the next 30 days.

SIDENOTE: I'm watching Chelsea Lately (love her) and Mayim Bialak (aka Blossom) is on and she has two kids! Who knew?!

According to Laci's mom, she's been giving her hell in the counseling sessions and is mad at the world. Hell I would too if my life was spinning out of control but hey....she got herself into this predicament. There are so many questions running through my head. The main one being why, but she's my friend and I know her so I can pretty much answer that question. It just really baffles me that she would risk it knowing she has two kids to raise. Now she's put even more of a burden on herself and her mother. I'm just hoping that once this stage of her life has passed that she is able to get herself and life together.

Chrisette Michelle...........

I'm loving (almost) every song on her new album!! One of my e-buddies told me that she sings like she just smoked a pack of Newports. lol I beg to differ but I lubs her still. Take a listen and judge for yourself.


Epiphany

CONGRATULATIONS...........

.......to American Idol Kris Allen.

As I was watching the AI finale tonight, it dawned on me that I never blogged about this guy. He has put this little town we live in on the map....probably not but you get my drift.

I was on the phone with my friend as the results were announced. How surprised was I when I heard his name? I didn't watch the show every week, never voted, and if I may continue to be honest....didn't think he really would win. I guess he and his supporters made a fool out of me. At any rate, it's still pretty cool.