Can you feel a brand new day?!!

I got the most AWESOME text message today from my work buddy.

*dramatic pause*











MY BOSS IS QUITTING!!!!!!!!!!!!







I SAID, MY BOSS IS QUITTING!!!!!!
























As most of you know, I can't stand her don't really care for her or her management style. I've often thought of this moment but never really thought it would actually happen. My grandmama always said that sometimes we have to smile even when we don't want to but this broad made it HARD! It's funny, I was just having a discussion with someone about how I wish she would just leave a few weeks ago and now......... *smiles* She'll be on vacay when I return to the office Monday (hopefully that plan hasn't changed). With any luck, I won't see her at all! HA!

In the words of my friend, "I can't wait to toast this shit!!!!"

And now for a musical selection

YouTube Foolishness: Wild Kingdom Edition

This video tickled my soul beyond compare this evening. I find it so odd that she was freaked out by a snake but danced with one a humongous one in 'From Dusk Til Dawn'. I guess it's safe to say the one in the movie was a fake.

Shouts out to LadyNayNay for informing me that the YouTube clip had been disabled so I could go find another.

And now for a musical selection

A little bit of this, a little bit of that…………..

• I still haven’t packed yet. Mistah on the other hand is all done with the exception of a few items.
• We leave Saturday.
• I’m trying to avoid checking my bag.
  
• Mistah was trying to take a hat and shorts for everyday of the week. o_0.
• Pair that ish down fool! Reduce, reuse and recycle!
• My cubicle neighbor (ie Sh'Nike) sent an email asking if I had an IM address through yahoo, google, etc that I could share with her.
• Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
• We sit right next to each other. Anything we need to communicate can be done face to face or via the company provided Outlook email accounts we have been assigned.
• I have yet to respond to her request and doubt if I will.
• I applied for another job internally this morning. It’s more in line with my previous work experience and completely separate from this team and business unit.
• I’m so burnt out on the village idiots entire group and am bored to death with my current position.
• I do hope I get it. I’m completely ready.
• Lord if you’re listening, you know I mean this.
• People are trying to convince me to throw a party for my nephew on his birthday while he’s in town.
• Ummmmmmmmm, no. His parents can handle that for him when he gets back home.
• No worries, I’m not a total hard heart! He will get cake, ice cream and have tons of fun that day.
• I had to come back to add on a couple of observations I made within the last hour.
• How do people jog in the middle of the day when it's 90+ degrees outside and humid?
• Better yet WHY do people do this?
• I just witnessed someone walk past my desk with a long sleeve turtleneck on.
• Did I mention it's 90+ degrees outside?
  

YouTube Foolishness: AARP Edition

Little Gem........

well actually her name is Bella but we didn't know that when we saw her yesterday. After battling a torrential downpour during our commute home, we pulled into the driveway to see two people (a repairman and a neighbor) in the yard with a little wet dog running around jumping on them. They asked if we knew whose dog it was. Me being the nosy aware neighbor that I am told everyone that had to be Junior our neighbors dog on the corner.

Mistah picked her up to talk to her (ya'll know he thinks he's dog whisperer o_O) and took a look at her privates.

Mistah: I thought you said Junior was a boy

Me: Hell I thought he...she was....SURPRISE!

He takes it up the street only discover that Junior is already at home (and is really a boy).

THE PLOT THICKENS!

He returns home with the known unknown and names her Chelsea Lately (you have to say like the guy that announces her name when the show starts) because he says she looks like a talk show host.

My man....gotta love him.

Anyway, I walked around the neighborhood hoping that someone would see her with me and come out to claim her. No dice but I did get a few offers to adopt her if no one came forward. Sweet! Fortunately for Bella the 'dog found' signs I made worked because as of 7 am, her owner called. Sweeter!

I'm sure Emma and Cochise will be thrilled to see her go. What?! You thought they'd be sad?

Click here

Homie was trying to pull the little dog syndrome and got checked something proper! LMAO Emma got to growlin' and Cochise...well he need only bark to scare the life out something. That lil beyotch ran so fast out of the room.......*tears*

At any rate, it was fun while it lasted (with the exception of her crying in the kennel last night annnnnnnnnnnd this morning as we left the house) but I'm glad she's going home.

Bella........we'll holla!

And now for a musical selection

TOTALLY BUMMED!!!

The comedy show with Tracy Morgan & Lavelle Crawford has been CANCELED!!!! *tears*

I was so looking forward this weekend. No worries though. We're still going to M-town because:
(1) I want to see my mama
(2) she wants to go to the casino (I'll be taking my standard 20 bones and then I'm OUT!)
(3) I want some crab legs from Joe's Crab Shack (Random thought...I really wish they would open up a Cheesecake Factory in Memphis or Little Rock)
(4) I need to pick up some shea butter and black soap from the flea market thingamajig they have

All is not lost as we'll be headed out to Cali in a couple of weeks. We'll visit with Mistah's big sis, nieces, and take in the sights and sounds of the Bay area. Then if that wasn't enough, Billy Bad Ass numbers 2 & 3, otherwise known as my nephews, will be back in the natural state a little later in the summer making a repeat appearance at Aunt AR Gal's crib of De La Soul (and beat-downs if you test me). I'm thinking about going to get BBA #1 (my oldest nephew) and my niece (they stay with their dad in AR during the summer) while the younger one's are here to keep them entertained when I don't feel like being bothered.

All in all not bad but I still want to go to that damn comedy show. *sigh*

Big Pimpin

Jersey City Society Hill pimp is sentenced to 18 years in prison

Read the story here

I have SO many thoughts, questions and concerns running rampant through my head about this man right now. Some of which are:

1. How much pro-con gel was used to create that splendiferous hairstyle?
2. Why did he choose a twisted up piece of yarn to use as a 'ponytail'?
3. How did he get said 'ponytail' to stay put?
4. Can you really call those finger waves?
5. Who told him that shit was cute?
6. With waves like that, who needs the ocean?!
7. I don't swim but suddenly have a strong desire to go surfing.
8. How is he pulling anything other than Rasputia's?
9. He lyin!
10. I need to see pictures of his hoes STAT!
11. Don't drop the soap!

Be sure to check out the photo slide show at the bottom of the story. If you haven't laughed today..............

And now for a musical selection!

Early morning dialogue……………………

Mistah: Do you think they sell promiscuous olive oil?

Me: What?

Mistah: Do you think they sell promiscuous olive oil?

Me: Negro, what the hell are you talking about? And who is they?

Mistah: The stores… do.you.think.they.sell.promiscuous.olive.oil?

Me: I don’t know. What the hell is promiscuous olive oil?

Mistah: Well, there’s extra virgin olive oil so I was just wondering if someone sells promiscuous olive oil.

Me: I…….you…….just stop.

And now for a musical selection

YouTube Foolishness:Pedophile Edition

While it's obvious these kids have talent, I have a serious problem with their outfits, choice of certain dance moves, lack of good judgement used by any and all adults involved and YES that damn song. When are folks gonna learn to stop putting their kids on display for pervs? It just ain't kosher for kids reading hickory dickory dock to gyrate like this.

LEGENDARY

Well done Lena....well done.



I found this site while looking for a picture I would like to use. I love these pictures and thought I would share.

YouTube Foolishness: Motor Vehicle Edition

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

SAKURATY!!!!!!!!!

I've been in a two day (all day) planning session with my business unit. I don't know about you but I LOATHE these things.

One because it last alllllllllllllllll day long which is taxing and draining to my spirit and overall mental capacity. My attention span is super duper short so I tend to zone out after about oh say the first hour. I personally think it's better that these sessions be held in a series of half days during morning hours. It's been my experience that productivity decreases HEAVILY after lunch. Ask me how I know.

Two. People that don't know when to shut the hell up. You know the ones. The people that don't realize that it's time to move on BUT love to hear themselves talk so much that they just have to ask a question or make a comment when it's obvious (by the silence in the room) that no one has anything else to contribute to the topic at hand.

Three. SAKURATY!!! In addition to having the meeting off site (which I've been told is good at helping groups focus.....it does nothing for me), our head honcho decided it would be a good idea for us to power off of cells and put them in a box appropriately titled 'cellphone box'. Okay cool, I'll roll with it but don't get mad if I keep asking what time it is since my cellphone is my watch. K? Thanks.

If the box wasn't enough, he designated one of our team members as 'cell phone security' that was given strict orders to only release our phones during breaks. Ummm yeah whatever. It wasn't so much that he assigned someone but who. Sh'Nike!!! You remember her....crazy stalker chick on my team. UGH!!!!!! While I commend her steadfastness she took this shit a little to seriously.

Example 1: Yesterday I asked where the box was....ya know so I could just go and grab my phone when it was time for lunch. Her response? "Oh I hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid them and will issue them out when it is time for us to eat."

GIRL BYE!!!!!!!!!

Example 2: This morning while waiting on everyone to arrive, I was on my phone surfing the web and all that jazz. We still had about 10 minutes or so before we began. There were only handful of us in the room including Sh'Nike. I guess she was bored because while I was in the middle of 'liking' someone's status on FB doing something really important this trollop comes over and stands in front of me with that box. I look up, she smiles and nudges the box my way.

Me:*BLANK STARE*

Sh'Nike: Your phone?

Me: *in my head*

Me: *in reality* We haven't begun the session. I'll place it in the box then.

Sh'Nike: But he put me in charge................

Me: Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha

GIRL GOOD-BYE AND GOODNIGHT!

And yes, I did laugh in her face and so did the guy next to me. Actually he kind of just snickered but I digress. Seriously though......how does one reply to that. Words would not have done it justice. And they wonder why I don't ever want to go to happy hour with them. *smh*

YouTube Foolishness: Pageant Edition

If it wasn't for the mc, dress and stage 'decorations', I would swear this chick was at a karaoke bar. Has she even heard this song before??? What beat was she on?

I'd hate to see her dance.

Sashay Shontae!

As the wig comes off (around the 57 second mark)

Mistah: Is that a DUDE?????!!!!!

Me: (CTHU) Yep

Mistah: Bwahahahahahaha What the hell is this America's Next Top Drag Queen?

Me: Stop it!

When RuPaul starts talking about her wig (around the 1:36 mark)

Mistah damn near falls on the ground laughing.

About ten minutes later I start fidgeting with my headscarf because it wasn't acting right if you will. Then I hear him say, "Just relax for now AR Gal. We gone get your scarf back on your head and everything is gonna be alright".

*DEAD*

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

TRACY MORGAN

+

LAVELL CRAWFORD

=

FUN FUN FUN!!!!!!

Mistah and I are going to check these talented comedians out at the end of May. I heard the announcement on one of the Memphis radio stations this morning and quickly picked up the phone to call him. I received a resounding 'HELL YEAH!!!' when I asked if he wanted to go. :) With this combination, I'm pretty sure I will piss myself a couple of times so I think I'll buy a package of Poise Pads just to be on the safe side.

They will be at the DeSoto County Civic Center (in Southaven, MS right outside of Memphis) May 29th if you're interested.

Can't stop.....

....thinking about this daggone song. I heard it on the radio the other day and it's been playing in my head ever since.

Juicy Fruit

Here's a pic of the baby (my nephew). He turned five months old this past Sunday. Isn't he the cutest juiciest little thing?!

I posted this on FB earlier this week. Some folks seemed to think that I had given birth.

AS IF!

If I ever do, I hope the kid turns out as cute and healthy as him. Too bad you can't go pick up newborns at the store. I'd probably have a house full if that were the case....especially if they were on the clearance rack.

And now for a musical selection.......................

Wrote a story ‘bout it. Wanna read it, here it go

Woke up this morning sleepy as all get out.

Put my contacts in. They didn’t agree with my eyeballs. After 15 minutes of removing and re-inserting with no success, finally just said phuck it and threw my glasses on.

I hate wearing my glasses. Boo.Hiss.

Saw Pedro’s truck this morning but no one in the backseat. Guess they decided to take a break.

Arrived at work and went to the restroom.

Did a full survey of my outfit. Noticed that my maxi skirt was a peep show in the back.

Cursed self for not wearing a longer shirt and checking self out in the mirror AT HOME.

Tried to do some adjusting to camoflauge. Didn’t work.

Went to the store to buy a slip…..which I have plenty of AT HOME.

*eyeroll*

Slips a plenty but none in BLACK. Boo. Hiss squared.

Grabbed a cami top and made it work….Tim Gunn game proper.

Went to check out and got stuck behind a stupid ass b*tch woman that wanted a price check for a greeting card that was supposed to be 25 cents. The original price was FIFTY CENTS!!!!!!

ARE YOU SERIOUS?????!!!!!

Waiting. BG’s ensue. This heffa still wants her 25 cents discount.

Go to check out at customer service while trying to resist the urge to mollywhop said heffa in the back of her head for being stupid.

Hit the restroom up to leave a deposit and put on my shirtslip.

Stop to grab more sunflower seeds. Only one package of the flavored kind left.

FML…

The Villa Marre

Here are the pics from my drive-by past the Villa Marre yesterday. It was neat seeing the house but truth be told I was kind of underwhelmed. It always looked more glamorous on tv. Perhaps it was the lack of sunlight.....yeah that's it. In any event, enjoy!

Front view

Side view

And now for a bit of entertainment



And just for S&G's

FUN FACT

I was saddened to learn about Dixie Carter's (aka Julia Sugarbaker from the show 'Designing Women') passing the weekend before last. I really loved that show and her character. Honestly, I loved everyone ....especially Bernice. She kept me in stiches! Black Maaaaaaaaan, Black Maaaaaaaan! LMAO

In reading the paper this past weekend, I learned something new and fun. One of the writers did a tribute article of sorts about Dixie and her favorite episodes, scenes, etc. Imagine my surprise when I read that the house (where the design firm was) featured on the show is actually a snapshot of the Villa Marre right here in Little Rock. WHO KNEW? Not me. At any rate, I think it's pretty cool.

Here's a link that details a bit more about the history of the house. I think I shall do a drive-by at lunch and take a looksie.

Lookin’ for that good stuff……..

Since Mistah’s job is transitioning to LR we commute to work together on the days that he works in the ‘big city’. The main road to get to his job currently has a lot of construction in progress. As we got closer to the stoplight to make the last turn, we noticed a construction worker crossing the street. Not too far behind him was a scraggly piece of trash petite young lady who, apparently, was scared shitless by the sight of my car approaching her body walking slowly across the street.

Sitting at the stoplight, we observed Pedro walking to a large SUV and opening up the door to the backseat. By the time the light turned green, Peggy Sue had caught up. As we turned the corner, we witnessed Pedro climbing in the back seat. I look at Mistah wide-eyed and Mistah looks back at me laughing. I checked the rearview mirror to make sure no one was behind the car and slowed down.

Mistah: What are you doing?
Me: I wanna see if she gets in that truck!
Mistah: Woman, just drive.
Me: Shut up.

Sure enough, Peggy Sue hops her tail back there with him.

Laughter ensues in our vehicle…….sexual pleasure in theirs.

As Mistah got out of the car, he asked me to promise not to pull up behind the truck to try and take a picture with my camera phone. He claims that I’m always trying to snap something or another. *sigh* Be that as it may, I didn’t pull up to try and watch (that’s just gross) BUT I did go really slow as I passed the front of the truck on my way to work to see what I could see. WHAT?! LOL I only saw his head…..looking down…..no sign of Peggy Sue. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the rest.

And now for a musical selection…………………

Come on....

....VOGUE!

From Glee last night.....AMAZING! I love Sue Sylvester!!

A Little Bit of this, a little bit of that……

•I have two water blisters on the bone on the back of my ankles and it is killing everything in me not to pop those sap suckas! The culprit? A pair of swooshes (aka Ni-Ke) training shoes I scooped up from Sports Academy on clearance this weekend.

•Trying to be Being cute will kill ya. If you ain't know, you better ask somebody...BA-BAAAAY!!

•Guess I’ll go back to my walking shoes and stick to using the new kicks for their intended purpose of training instead walking up and down the boulevard with the pooches.

•I’ll test them out on the new Bowflex we got this weekend. Mistah is so excited. Ya’ll should see him working on his fitness. It’s cute. Lol

•I told him he should take some music in the room to help him stay motivated because he’ll get bored just listening to the sounds of the machine and ceiling fan after awhile. ‘Nah, I’ll be alright’, he says. What did I hear playing yesterday afternoon though? Mmmmmmhmmmm, he ain’t stupid…..at least not all the time.

•My sisters and I received another ‘love’ email from our mother. Just in case you haven’t been reading that long, that’s code for ‘going off’. I won’t go into detail but just know that I was designated as the peacemaker and all is well.

•She fussed talked for two hours skraight. I think I got in 50 words MAX! I was so drained and hongray after that convo. *smh and laughing*

•Sometimes I really hate that she has access to a ‘puter. LOL

•My sisters and I are soooo different. The eldest is the worrier/nurturing type, the middle is the ABW (angry black woman) and me (the baby) well I just don’t give a damn half of the time. I’m the black sheep son!

•I still haven't done my state taxes. Correction, they are done, I just haven't mailed them in. I need to put them in the car to drop off in the morning so I don't forget.

•Anyone catch the ‘Army Wives’ premiere last night? It was pretty decent. I sure hope Joan doesn’t lose her eyesight. I doubt she will thought. Lifetime won't do that.

•I’m sooooo ready for the RHONY reunion show. Just skip all the other stuff and let’s get to it!

•I wonder when the reunion show for ’16 & Pregnant’ will be? Wasn’t the episode last week the last one of the season?

•I really need to start taking the digi-cam to the local Wal-marts ‘cause honey, I saw some mess in there yesterday that would have made ya weep!

•Babs had a post about cheating and what not on her blog the other day. One of the things she listed as cheating was having dinner with someone of the opposite sex and keeping it from your mate. This stood out to me because I go out to lunch with an ex of mine every so often. We dated for a few brief months before I went off to college when I was 17 but it’s nothing I would deem a real relationship. At that age, all I knew was that I stayed horny was getting away from home and would finally get a chance to live the carefree life that God intended me to have....oh and get an education. That’s not the point though but just stating that for clarification. Anyway, I’ve never thought anything of it (or saying something) because (1)I usually go out to eat with someone each Friday or just hang by myself and (2) I don't 'report back' on any of the outings. Anyway, when I do have lunch dates the conversation is usually the same thing, we dish about work and life in general…just catch up.

•Oh and just to clarify something else, this is NOT the dude I posted about the other day. LOL

•At any rate, Mistah knows he and I are friends, I don't think I am cheating (in thought or in action)so I just leave it at that. *Kanye shrug*

And now for a musical selection........

Misunderstood

The life lead we lead, will always lead us
And we pray that he will never leave us
It's the price we pay, I guess that's the reason
Why my grandma sang we all need Jesus.

Common....call me.

Regret

The episode on ’16 & Pregnant’ last night was a doozy and a half……..also an hour and a half. I didn’t realize that an extra 30 minutes had been tacked on until I turned the channel to watch Chelsea Lately. I hate when I miss that show.

So the episode last night followed, two young kids (of course) whose names escape me at the moment. It’s a long sordid story but it basically went down like this:

Girl has a boyfriend for 2 years (or was it 3? I heard her say both)

Girl breaks up with long time boyfriend.

Girl gets rebound guy.

Girl hunches rebound guy one night after he gives her a ride home in his truck after a party.

Girl and rebound guy get pregnant…..with TWINS. *faints*

Girl is 17. Rebound guy is a couple of years older. (They live in WV so this may or may not be considered statutory rape but no one seemed to mind. *Kanye shrug*)

Girl has twins (girls).

Guy actually steps up to the plate, sells his beloved truck for a more affordable form of transportation, gets an apartment for them all to live in, and works two jobs to make sure their ready made family is provided for.

Girl realizes she hasn’t lost that lovin’ feeling for old boyfriend.

Girl goes back to HS, sees old boyfriend, begins hanging out with old boyfriend and slowly but surely begins emotionally disconnecting with rebound guy.

Girl invites old boyfriend over to see twins. (*sigh*)

Old boyfriend gives her the cold shoulder from that point forward.

Rebound guy finds out. They argue and break-up.

Girl realizes the grass isn’t greener.

Girl begins to regret her decision and her actions.

Girl finds out rebound guy is dating other people.

Rebound guy still sees and provides for their daughters.

Girl is alone and brokenhearted.

This episode really got to me because I’ve been in a situation somewhat similar sans the pregnancy ‘cause at 17 I would have been at the clinic after the first pee stick said ‘you the mama’…HOLLA! Back in my young tender days, I was in a rocky, back and forth, break up to make up five year relationship with Lester Smudgles (obviously not the real name). Even with all that, to me he was the greatest until he wasn’t.

During the last few months, I began to have the same emotional disconnect that ‘Girl’ did, grew tired of his asshat ways, what our relationship had become (in my eyes anyway) and dumped him. Time has a way of changing you’re wants and needs, ya know. In order to divert my attention, I began dating my BFF’s brother….twin brother be exact. Not the greatest game plan but he had shown an interest and I needed something else to focus on. What better than another dude?! You know what they say’ to get over the old, get something new’. Hmmmm, that not’s quite right but you get the drift. A few months in, I realized I had made a mistake and that it just wouldn’t work. My rebound guy lived two states away and was much more immature than I remembered. And, my heart just wasn’t in it. Then…regret set in. Did I make the right decision with my long time boyfriend? Was I too hard on him…us? Late night thoughts got the best of me and I caved. I backtracked and tried to patch things up. Too late! He was boo’d up with another lover. Woe is me. Life moved on and so did I but that wasn’t the end of our story.

To be continued…maybe.

GoodNESS!!!

I'm not a huge Jaheim fan but this song right here.......*swoons* And when did he get so damn good looking????? Or has he always been but I chose to ignore it? Either way, homeboy could get it and that's all I gotsta say about that.

If you're reading...call me.

I LURVE THESE COMMERCIALS!!!!

Baskin-Robbins ice cream & cake not so much which is totally weird because I love ice cream and cake. I had one when I was a kid and was not impressed but it's still way better than Chicken McNuggets. *hurls*

I know, totally random comparison.

Anyway, I dare you to try and sit still when this video plays. I've tried...it's impossible. Something will move.



Did you know there was a dance that went along with it? Tooooo Funny!!

Just when……..

…..I think I have nothing to blog about, Mother Earth works her magic and VOILA!

I ventured out to a beauty supply store in Mexican Central (aka SW Little Rock) today. They are the only place I have been able to find that carries raw black soap. That’s pretty sad considering you could go to any other major city and find it (relatively) easy…..or at least I think so. It’s also pretty sad that I work with a lot of African people and not one of them could tell me where I could go to buy some. Boo. Anyway, the downside is they only carry it in small sizes (about $2 for .5 oz) but I figure I can grab a lot of them at one time and it would still be cheaper than buying it online and paying for shipping.

Moving on.

So I grabbed my supply, headed to the cash register and proceed to have the most intriguing conversation with the young lady that checked me out.

YL: Did you need help finding anything or were you ready to check out?

Me: *smiles* Oh, I’m ready.

YL: So, do you use this all over your body?

Me: Yeah, face and all.

YL: Really? I tried it once but broke me out.

Me: Oh no! Well you can’t tell. You have a beautiful complexion.

YL: Yeah well it wasn’t anywhere you could see.

Me: (wondering where the hell this girl could be talking about….her ankles?) Oh?

YL: Yeah it was down there *points to her nether regions with her finger*

Me: Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

YL: I mean it was real bad. My grandmama had to call the medical emergency number and everything because it was puffed up like this (yes she really held her fist up)

Me: Oh my! I don’t blame you not using any longer. Well, thanks and have a nice day!

Now at this point, I’m laughing but she was too so it wasn’t totally awkward. I didn’t realize when she asked if I used it all over my body she really meant allllllllll over mah body. I just assumed she meant exposed skin. LOL Oh well, at least I learned something new today…I think.

AR Gal PSA................

When speaking about the Lord (especially on social networking sites), please refrain from using Ebonics or speaking/typing unintelligibly. I beg of you. Seeing the word 'come' typed as 'cum' when trying to holy roll ain't cute. No really it ain't.

YouTube Foolishness: Lost One's Edition

I can't.................

Bloody Mary's

I’m supposed to be working on a report (and have been since last Wednesday). I can’t seem to get my writing juices flowing this morning so I decided to do a post instead. Honestly, I haven’t been doing so good in the productivity department since my boss took off for vacay. *sigh* I’m going to do better…..when she gets back. *shudders*

Today’s post is brought to you today by the letters N-A-S & T-Y. That’s the word I used to describe whichever hoe, b*tch, scallywag, diseased rhinoceros pheasant trollop decided to leave traces of their menstrual cycle all over one of the commode seats in the ladies room. And I'm not just talking a single drop....that ish was splattered.....on both sides.....like some damn abstract art!!! Say it with me folks….EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

I was beyond grossed out and extremely pissed that the offender (1) didn’t even have the common courtesy to wipe that sh*t off so it wouldn’t be visible and/or (2) have enough common sense to look at the seat before they left the stall. I only wish that I could have seen who it was so I could have added their name to the sign I made and taped on the wall in the stall.

I just went to look for the picture of the sign in my phone and realized I forgot to take one.

(insert Niecy Nash Clean House grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sound effect here)

No worries, I made another for effect.

I was telling Z about it and he just shook his head and gave the usual ‘Makes you wonder what they are like at home’ response. You know what? I don’t really care. Do what you want in your own home but at least TRY and have some type of damn decorum/manners/home training (well I guess that wouldn’t apply if one is that nasty at the house) about yourself in public…..GOOD GRIEF! I refuse to even go in that stall anymore. As a matter of fact, I do believe I shall start going upstairs to handle my beeswax. Yeah, yeah I know nasty is everywhere but there are way less people on that floor and I’d rather take my chances squatting elsewhere.

Why you over there lookin’ at me?

My co-worker annoys the Sh’Nikes out of me. Every time I get up from my desk, she breaks her neck to see where I’m walking. Every time I walk back to my desk, she just stares…..intently. Now I just avoid eye contact with her and keep my eyes focused in whatever direction I’m going (but I can still see her looking in my peripheral vision). This behavior is strange (to me) as my personality is such that I really could care less about what anyone around me is doing.

You’re going to a meeting? Do I have to go? No? Great! Have fun!

You have a visitor at your desk? Good for you! I can’t hear what you’re saying over the music in my headphones anyway.

You’re trying to sneak out early? Great! Have loads of fun!

You diggin’ a booger out of your nose? Ewww but just don’t flick it over here or let me catch you eating it ‘cuz I’m tellin’!

That reminds me, I have a short story about that.

As long as you are not a disgruntled employee and refrain from coming into the building to shoot ‘em up at the OK Corral then we’re good.

This chick though…..she’s just different and stuff. She’s been in our group for almost one year but has been with the organization for maybe three or so. She was placed here during the re-org that happened last year. One experience I had early on really helped shape my opinion of her.

I was working on a report and needed no distractions so I sought refuge in one of the empty conference rooms on the opposite end of our department’s floor. During a break, I visited the lady’s room and went to my desk to grab a granola bar to snack on. I saw her sitting at her desk so I spoke.

Me: Hey Sh’Nike

Sh’Nike: Hey AR Gal, I missed you!

Me: *strange look on my face* Girl ion't even know you Ummmmm, oh. Well, I’ll see you later.

(I must point that I had only known this chick for maybe a month up to this point)

As I walked back to the conference room, I heard heels clomping (loudly) on the floor. I turned to see who it was and saw her little head peeking around the corner watching me to see where I was going. I turned my head back around and headed to the stairwell to go up one floor and came back down in one of the side stairwells to get back to the conference room. Like I said I needed no distractions and the last thing I wanted was her following me to find out my top secret location. LOL Now in my head, I was thinking….seriously WHO DOES THAT?! In my heart I was thinking, this beesh is CRAZY! I laugh about it now when I tell that story but really….WHO DOES THAT??!!

Mase - Lookin' At Me (1998)

YouTube Foolishness: Junk Food Edition

I haven't graced you all with one of these in awhile. Thanks to FB and my buddy Goli, the wait (not like you all were really waiting, lol) is OVER!! Speaking of, be sure to watch for Lil Mikey aka Lil Wayne's forgotten son. Somebody call Maury!

I hate work meetings

That is all.

This just in....................

This reporter on one of the local networks cracks.me.up! His voice, I can't describe it, but it always elicits the same reaction from me....a fit of giggles! Here are some video clips of him. Be sure to stay tuned up through at least the 23 second mark....comedy! TJ Holmes you are not my dear sir....*swoons*

Fun fact: TJ Holmes used to work for one of the local stations in LR before he moved to CNN. Hmmm, so that wasn't really fun...just a fact.

YUM-E

Granola + yogurt=deliciousness the tenth power

Why come none of ya’ll hipped me to this before???

It’s crazy because I have always eaten granola bars and yogurt (separately) but never together until yesterday morning. I picked up a container (I only needed one more to get me through the work week) of strawberry yogurt by default the other day because the store was out of my favorite, Yoplait key lime pie whipped. I loved the firmer texture of the whips versus the somewhat slimy standard texture of regular yogurt.

Anyway, as you can see, this has granola that can be mixed in. Now while I wasn't totally blown away, it was still quite yummy. So this morning I decided to try breaking up one of my granola bars into the whip. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa'lllllllllllllllllll, it was so good that I almost took my tail to the grocery store to buy another thing of (50 cent) yogurt just so I could have another!

I can't wait until tomorrow morning.

Well.....

..................I finally found the one thing I knew I would if I stayed on FB long enough. A high school classmate that is now a grandmother. *dry heaves, vomits, faints* It really comes as no surprise to me as people in my class started popping out kids like doo doo balls as early as 14.

Sidenote: I'm watching "Let's Talk About Pep". The Asian dude Pep is on the romantic getaway with looks like he is allergic to bee stings around the eye area and that's all I'm gonna say about that. Oh and I hate Pep's hair, wig, weave, choice of synthetic blend.

Anyway, like I was saying....no big surprise BUT it's still shocking to see/know that someone my age not only has a shitload of a lot of children but a grandchild to boot! One guy I graduated with has no less than 10 kids!!! Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, TEN (and is probably making more as I type this but I ain't one to gossip so you ain't heard that from me)!!

Is it strange that I find this strange or is it strange that these folks have a plethora of kids with grandkids?